Don’t let disparaging ex derail fitness plans

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I gained almost 45 pounds through my child-bearing years and finally decided to do something about it this new year.

Unfortunately, I ran into an old boyfriend in the parking lot at the gym where I had just signed up. He insisted on walking me out to my car.

I said conversationally, “I don’t know about you, but I really need this gym right now.” He looked me up and down slowly and said snidely, “Don’t worry. They can work miracles.” I wanted to smack him.

In fact, I was so hurt by his comment I don’t want to go back there and run into him again, but I can’t afford not to go after my husband and I shelled out all this money for the membership. Any ideas?

— Embarrassed Ex, Fort Rouge

Dear Embarrassed: Rejoice in the fact you didn’t marry this jerk. If seeing him at the gym bothers you, try to go at a different time to miss him, at least for the first month. Also, see if you can bring your husband on occasion as a guest.

This nasty ex probably won’t approach you if you’re busy with your husband, friends or a personal trainer.

If he is bothering you, tell him seriously you don’t have much time to spend at the gym, so you can’t afford to visit with people. That should turn him off.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new girlfriend makes a lot of noise during sex and the tenants who live above and below me have been thumping on the floor and ceiling and yelling at us to keep it down.

That’s not going to happen.

She’s never lived in an apartment before and yells right back at them. (She lives at her parents’ house.)

Today I got a note under the door from the actual owner of this block — a warning there have been formal noise complaints and that I could be asked to leave.

What should I do? I like my girlfriend, but not enough to lose my first apartment. Help.

— On the Edge, downtown Winnipeg

Dear On the Edge: The time has come to teach your girlfriend a life lesson. Tell her she’s going home to her parents’ if she starts caterwauling again — and really mean it.

Take her home immediately at the first little squeal. It’s too cold for you to get thrown out in the snow and there’s no reason for it. She has an alternate warm place to sleep, and you do not.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a terrible decision to make. I hate the medical training I’m enduring for the job my parents have always wanted for me. I told them I want to quit, and they said if I do that and waste their money I would be on my own in looking for a job or career. I’ll get no other training or education on their dime.

My boyfriend’s parents have offered me a job in their store starting as soon as possible. It would be a decent paycheque and my guy is encouraging me to take it.

It seems like my only route forward. I love his parents, but I might feel beholden to them for the rescue. What do you suggest?

— Rock and a Hard Place, St. Norbert

Dear Rock: It’s sad when parents continue to push their children down career paths that clearly don’t suit them. You’ve had enough, so take the rescue offered you from your boyfriend’s parents who seem to love and respect you.

Save your money from working at their store while looking for a career that better suits you.

Stand up to your parents with strength and insist that they respect you.

Don’t raise your voice, but stick to your guns.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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