Really getting a kick out of sleeping together

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My girlfriend is a dancer with very strong legs. She often dreams about performing and kicks me hard in her sleep. I have the leg bruises to prove it.

She suggested a giant bed like a king size and I thought that was ridiculous for a couple. It would look like we didn’t want to sleep close — but I guess that’s true for me.

Finally, I told her we could make love together, but that I would have to move bedrooms afterwards in order to sleep safely.

I would really like to be able to sleep closely and trust her, but I don’t anymore because I’m scared of the next booting.

Last night she kicked me so hard I swore at her loudly for it and she woke up crying. I can’t take this anymore and our relationship is in big trouble over it. What do you suggest?

— Getting Kicked Hard, downtown

Dear Kicked: It may be your mate is dreaming about dancing, but this kicking behaviour may involve a sleep disorder such as restless leg syndrome, sleep apnea or something else. She needs to check out the medical end of things, possibly by a doctor who sees a lot of dancers.

In the meantime, you definitely need a second bed, ASAP, so you are safe and finally able to sleep through the night and heal your bruises. Hopefully your relationship will also be able to start healing up after the last kick.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was walking down Grant Avenue on Sunday and saw a man walking towards me who brought back all kinds of memories. He was my first love and he was my idea of the physically-perfect athlete.

We were getting closer and closer and he recognized me, too. He was the first guy I ever really made love with and I flashed on that memory. I asked if we could stop and go for coffee, but he said no and that he’s happily married and wants to stay that way.

I can’t stop thinking about him now, and I’m quite happily married myself. I really feel like calling him, but I guess he doesn’t want that. What now?

— Guilty, But Not Guilty Enough, Crescentwood

Dear Not Guilty Enough: Focusing on the negative may not be the way you want to live most of your life, but in this case it will help. So try to remember clearly what led to the breakup for you and this ex, and then what led to you finding someone else you actually loved more.

We can’t have everybody we want, and this is one of those situations where it will take some time to get past the thrill of seeing an old love.

Some of the memories stick harder than others and seeing the person up close — even a touch on the arm and a shared smile — makes it harder.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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