Body banter comes back around to bite you

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My ex-wife wants me back so badly she went and got breast augmentation, as if that would help. She is so dim.

The only thing she still wants me for is my six-figure salary, which is barely that anymore.

Why was my ex-wife suddenly on the phone to me about her new breasts? Because I have a new girlfriend, and I told my wife my new mate was built.

This being Winnipeg, my comment somehow got back to my new girlfriend and she called me to say she didn’t want anything to do with this “uncomfortable situation” and that she was stepping away for good because she wouldn’t want my ex in her life in any way, shape or form.

Now what? Do I still have a chance?

— Losing Ground, St. Vital

Dear Losing Ground: You could call the new girlfriend just once more and tell her how much you admire and respect her. Also tell her you won’t call her again for a long time, but if she ever wants to phone you and say “hi,” you would be a friend.

If she’s really through with you and totally turned off, she won’t melt. But if she really likes you, she might call you when all the post-breakup nonsense with your wife is over.

But do you really want to hold your breath that long? Likely not.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I refused the offer of sharing a winter holiday with a recent boyfriend and he went without me to have a good time. Good riddance.

He’s back now and trying to get my attention in a creepy way. I’ve cooled on him to the point where I hate it when he calls. I have now asked him almost 10 times not to phone or message me again — but he continues to harass me at all hours of the day and night.

Yesterday, I was really scared by him when I noticed he was following me home from work in his car.

How do you tell somebody who doesn’t take a hint — or a loud order — not to call you or follow you ever again? He’s scaring me.

— Feeling Harassed, St. James

Dear Harassed: Your telephone provider can help you put someone like this on your personal “blocked” list, and the insistent caller won’t be able to get through to you.

As for other troubling types of harassment, such as following you or showing up at events he’s found out you’ll be at, you can try to get a legal restraining order. These orders require evidence of harassment or fear, to enforce the no-contact conditions.

Such orders are enforceable by police, so document everything — such as texts, emails, threats and stalking — as evidence. If this person waits outside your residence or tracks you to activities, you can call the police and request their help. You would certainly be wise to do that.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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