Left aghast at blast from recent working past

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Last week I ran into the woman who disgusted me most at my last job. I quit because there were too many people in the workplace like her.

She immediately started filling me in on all the gossip and things people have said about me since I quit. I couldn’t take it, and put my hand up like a traffic cop, raised my voice and said, “Stop!” She was so shocked she halted mid-sentence, and then stalked off in a huff.

I still can’t stop hearing her gossipy voice in my brain. How do you erase annoying people and the things they’ve said from your mind?

— Had It, West End

Dear Had It: This former co-worker got exactly what she wanted. She hurt you in a way she hoped would last, and it’s doing just that.

So when you run into her again, just wave and keep on moving. You don’t owe her anything more.

If the issues with her continue to bother you past two or three weeks, see a counsellor and talk over the subjects of her tirades so you can finally get some peace.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was never slim and I have a big eating problem. Unfortunately, I put on 12 more pounds over the holidays and January, when it’s been too cold to go outside and exercise.

My wife sat me down and read me the riot act about unhealthy weight. She said that she loved me and didn’t want to lose me to a heart attack.

So, I recently impressed my skinny wife by joining a fitness group with a view to turning my fat into muscle. I told her and she immediately said she wanted to come with me and watch.

I told her no and said that she should get a hobby. She looked hurt.

We don’t have any kids yet and she only works part time, so she’s bored stiff sometimes. She wants to be with me now every minute I’m not at work. I love her, but I don’t want her stuck to me like glue. Please advise.

— Feeling Crowded, Downtown

Dear Feeling Crowded: Some couples have an evening rendezvous for just the two of them an hour or so before bed, with drinks and snacks — and all devices shut off. Then they know they’re going to have some time to talk and listen to each other about the day’s experiences.

Later, they might also play cards or a board game — or possibly have sex. Knowing intimacy could be on the schedule later can help make someone who needs constant “together time“ relax a bit.

For both of you, it could become a precious time you don’t want to miss because it gives you space to really exhale after a day’s work and have some intimate and loving time together.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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