Bad blood remains after messy breakup

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/06/2017 (3375 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into an old girlfriend who I hit where it hurt. I cheated with a girl who was much younger than her (she’s older than me). I tried to say hello to her at a club downtown yesterday, and she told me to go listen to the Taylor Swift song Bad Blood and get lost forever. I told her not to be so harsh. She quoted some lyrics from the song and said she still had scars in her back (from the knives, according to the lyrics I looked up when I got home).

And I am like that jerk in the song. I can’t do anything about it now, but I want her back! Seeing her, I realize she was the best woman I ever had. The rest have been girls. What can I do to get her back? — I Don’t Give Up Easy, Downtown

Dear I Don’t Give Up Easy: Now you do nothing but apologize sincerely and leave her alone. You can’t erase the betrayal and the scars with that apology, but it helps just a little to be able to say hello when you meet. Face it: you are no longer boyfriend material for her.

You could possibly straighten out your act and become boyfriend material for another woman. Rather than depending on yourself to fix the part in your brain that told you it was OK to cheat, see a relationship counsellor or psychologist to talk about this and fix the problem for good.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My cat had four kittens and I couldn’t find friends to give them away to, so I kept them. My boyfriend is not impressed. We are gay, don’t plan to adopt and I’m a real nurturer. I said, “Well, I guess we have a family now — five cats.” He asked me to take them to a shelter. I want to see the kittens all have homes and not get euthanized if there’s an overflow of cats at the Humane Society. What should I do? — Worried Sick, River Heights

Dear Worried Sick: You must become a one-man advertising agency. Put up signs, especially on garage-sale days, Thursday to Sundays. You can also get on Facebook with pictures and information. Interview the people who come by to make sure it’s not just a quick impulse and they’re gone with no clue about cats and how to take care of them.

Then there’s the weekly costs to feed them, plus they need to provide clean litter and get their shots taken care of. That will divide the dreamers from the people who may dump the kitten after a month of cuteness.

Do ask if they’ve ever owned a cat before, as that will tell you a lot. The cats should be eight to 12 weeks old before they leave their mothers, so they have learned everything they need to be well-behaved pets.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a harmless flirt and always has been. I was OK with it when I was the best-looking woman at the party, but now I’m eight months pregnant and look like a beached whale. I just lie around at the cabin. Soon he’ll be flirting with the ladies in their bikinis on our dock, the neighbourhood happy-hour spot. I’m feeling really anxious about this summer. How do I get my husband to dial it down? I can’t take his flirting this year. What do I say? — The Whale Mama, Lake Winnipeg

Dear Whale Mama: You need a little script, so say something like this. “I’m about to give birth to your baby. I feel insecure about my belly and need your support in the next few weeks. I would really appreciate it if you cut out the party-boy flirting and stood by me through all this. I really need your one-on-one attention. If people come for a drink, I need you to be a husband and daddy-to-be, not a married flirt.”

It’s worth a try. There is about a 50/50 chance he won’t go into his flirting routine. If he still does it, ask the group to leave early, as you’re so tired with the baby coming any time. The women will understand, though he might not. When they’re gone, let him have it. You’re entitled.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography