Girlfriend out of town, sexy summer awaits

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/06/2017 (3372 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m lonely. I actually ache for the love and touch of my girlfriend who has gone away for the summer to work. Last night, an old girlfriend stopped by my house (I asked her to come) and I made her dinner. We had a long talk and a lot of wine, and one thing led to another, just for old times’ sake.

I know that one time was wrong, but here’s the thing: it’s the morning after that I’m writing you because I know it’s going to happen again. The sex was better than I’ve ever had with my current girlfriend. Also, I have a lousy summer job and I’m so lonely I can’t stand it.

I don’t want to break up with my girlfriend who’s away, but I feel guilty, but not so guilty that it will stop at just one slip. I foresee a summer of this, but we both admit we’re not a couple that could make it married to each other. We will always be at odds over everything.

My ex doesn’t have a boyfriend, so she is ready, willing and says she’s available to be my sex buddy. So now what? I wish I could have both women. — Living With Guilt, Fort Richmond

Dear Living With Guilt: You need to get on the phone and talk to your girlfriend — no gutless texting or emailing. It’s time for apologies and to end the relationship, at least for the summer. She may be deeply hurt and tell you to take a hike forever, or she may be mildly hurt because she’s been wanting to be with an attractive guy where she’s working. At any rate, you can’t head into a hot, sexual summer with your ex, try to hide it (and get caught inevitably) and live with the guilt every day. And, think about this: discovering that sex with your ex is way better than what you have with your present girlfriend should be a wake-up call to you. A marriage that lasts requires great sex from the beginning. It will naturally cool down with children and work stress and all kinds of things. While you and your ex know you don’t get along well enough for a permanent relationship, and your present girlfriend isn’t doing it for you physically, consider a third alternative in the fall.

It’s likely your cheating confession will elicit a “get lost” response and your ex will have drifted off by September because of your incompatibility, but maybe that’s a good thing. Then you’ll be free to look for a combo of great sex and a super personality mix.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in answer to the question about the unwritten rule for shelter in remote areas. (In the original letter, someone had squatted in the writer’s cabin for the winter, but left it clean and filled with replacement food.)

Yes, in remote areas, you leave the cupboards stocked and doors unlocked. Someone might be desperate. In your submitter’s case, that was probably it. The “thank you” in that case was obvious. I was involved in a similar case. The food stocks were utilized, a thank you note was left . A second “break in” occurred and was used to restore the cupboard supplies. What was the cost? None. Did it make us feel good to share in an emergency? Yes! How did they feel? Survival and gratitude. Share, share, share. — Been There, Manitoba

Dear Been There: A person could easily die in the winter without shelter or food. An open, uninhabited cabin could be a life saver. This unwritten rule of the north is a necessary and beautiful one. It only makes sense to leave a remote cabin unlocked and stocked with some food for someone who needs it. And it warms the heart of the returning owner to find a thank you, in word or in deed.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I like to tan with as few lines as possible. I lie down in a hidden area and wear small clothing that covers what should be covered. Is it OK to just wear pasties to cover the top parts that need to be covered? I don’t want to be fined while tanning. — Sun Worshipper, Winnipeg

Dear Sun Worshipper: Whatever the law, you can bet most people will complain over toplessness in Manitoba if they see it in public. But there’s a larger issue. It is safer for the ultra-sensitive skin of your nipples to have some covering. Sun tans may look nice, but tanning invites skin cancer trouble for humans who have so little fur to protect them.

Some people will get on their high horses and complain, even about nudity in the privacy of your own yard. I remember two grinning policemen arriving at our front door one summer to say the neighbours next door (two females) had complained about my friend and I swimming nude in our backyard pool — a yard enclosed by high fences. They could only have seen us by using a ladder to peek over the fence, but they called the police nevertheless!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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