Wife wants to split, leave the kids behind

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This article was published 15/08/2017 (2993 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m ready to blow! I can’t take any more crap at home and at work. I’m stressed to the max with a clueless boss who tries to micro-manage what he doesn’t understand. I’m sick of our two kids who behave like wild animals and a wife who can’t control them. Because of her, they don’t respect adults in the least, including us.

I had no idea my life would turn out like this. Only eight years ago I had a great life and I thought I wanted a family. This is what greed leads to.

I’m a shallow guy and I admit it. I married the best-looking girl in college, got a great job and made two beautiful babies with her. I didn’t know my wife had no idea how to discipline children and ours are such brats people don’t invite us over or have our kids over to play. I totally understand why. They are demanding and loud with no manners. Their teachers complain, my wife bursts into tears and nothing is ever fixed at home with their behaviour.

My wife now claims she didn’t want two kids and that I was the one who wanted a family so badly. She’s right. I wanted what my parents had. She points out she was an only child with parents who doted on her and it wasn’t the same. She got whatever she wanted.

Last night, we had a big fight and she hinted she would like to separate and I could have the kids. My God, what happens now? They’re messed up enough as it is. — Sick to My Stomach, Winnipeg

Dear Sick to My Stomach: You can’t just throw up your arms! Fight to make it right.

Your family needs therapy, instructions and help; it doesn’t need to break up. Look online under family counselling Winnipeg for places to go. You can even get some counselling for free.

You and your wife could learn some much-needed parenting and fair fighting skills for yourselves, and negotiation tools for both adults and kids.

The best news is it’s not too late. Your children are not too old to change and will end up happier and more lovable when they have two parents who know how to work with them in a loving but firm way, with a set of reasonable rules and reasonable penalties.

Learning to talk together as parents and love partners will change your romantic relationship for the better, too. As for your work, it may be time to look for a better workplace, so your work hours are not filled with stress.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When I was downtown at a bar last weekend, I ran into a blast from the past. It was a guy I had known in high school and we were always platonic buddies. He was chubby and I was pale and skinny then, but we were great friends in class and helped each other with homework over coffees.

My best girlfriend and I were standing at the bar and this cute guy came over and whispered to me, “Can I borrow your notes?” I looked up, shocked. That’s what my old friend from high school used to do.

And when I looked closely, it was him, but really tall now, and slimmed out, and hot-looking! I don’t look so bad myself now, having developed a body and learned how to dress.

We danced a lot that night, and last night we went out for dinner and movie, and then we talked for two hours. When he took me home, he kissed me and told me he has been waiting years to do that.

I think I’m in love! Can that happen on a first date? — Is it Love? Winnipeg

Dear Is It Love: Things do look promising, but don’t label it anything yet. Recognize that it wasn’t a regular first date. You talked about yourselves and your lives for years in school and those basic people are still there inside.

Now you’ve added sexual attraction. But don’t jump the gun. Enjoy yourselves and wait and see what a real relationship brings.

Don’t call it “love” too soon and then have to to call it off. Just wait and see how it all works out. Good luck!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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