Court order not needed to remove unwanted guest

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This article was published 23/08/2017 (3325 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: A friend from Hamilton called in February and asked if I could let him stay for a little while at my house. I hadn’t seen him for about nine years. I really didn’t want to, as last time he lived with me he was a slob.

I told him I really don’t have room, or a spare bed. He said he could even just stay on a small spot on the floor. I felt sorry and regretfully let him come. It’s now six months later and he has totally overstayed his welcome. The only somewhat good thing is he was cooking one meal a day, buying the food and cutting the lawn. (I would rather live alone and eat in restaurants.)

He’s also a pig, makes a mess in the kitchen, bathroom and any floor space he stays on. I have to constantly argue with him to clean up. He had long, hot showers once or twice, but doesn’t chip in for utilities or pay any rent. Some people I know hate him and stopped helping me around the house because he’s there. One of them is a gay friend and now he refuses to come give me some help. I have some health issues and can’t do much lifting.

We’ve had a few arguments about his laziness and being a slob, and now he stopped cooking and brings just enough food for himself, but uses my fridge and stove to cook. I won’t give him a key for the house, and I make him leave when I am on call. He hangs around Tim Hortons most of the time. I’ve threatened to throw him and his stuff out if he doesn’t find someone else to leech off, and he said I would need a court order to do that.

I’ve shut the hot-water tank off so he can’t have long hot showers at my expense and told him I can’t afford to fix it. He’s still here. Other than physically throwing this leech out and getting in trouble with the law, do you have any suggestions on how to get rid of a guest who has overstayed his welcome. Also I can’t afford a lawyer for a court order. Thank you!

— Fed Up, Manitoba

Dear Fed Up: It’s time to call the police and ask them to intercede. They can remove a person who won’t leave. He’s not a tenant — just a house guest — and his final remark about needing a court order to get him out takes the cake. You can’t physically make him leave since that fight could end badly. You’’ll probably need need police officers to remove him. Possibly they will take him to a shelter. It’s interesting he can mow your lawn, cook and go buy food but can’t get himself a job, even part-time yard work. Whether he looked is not the point. It’s time he was removed from your home.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I found evidence in my car that someone has been using it for romantic rendezvous. I have four teenage sons who live at home. I leave the car doors open. We live in the country. I don’t lend them my car to drive, as it’s on its last legs. They can borrow their dad’s truck and they have bikes and motorcycles, but nobody has a cushy backseat with a roof and privacy. They’re all nice-looking boys and have girlfriends.

I don’t know who to point the finger at. They’re all pretty good liars when they’re up against the wall and always present a united front. I have three identical condoms tucked down the backseat as evidence. What should I do?

— Furious Mom, Small Town Manitoba

Dear Furious Mom: Start by locking the doors and hiding the keys. You have nothing to fear from strangers; the bad guys appear to be living at your house. Should anybody squeak about the locked car doors, say something like, “You know perfectly well why the car is locked. I found these three condoms tucked down the backseat (throw them on the table for effect) and they aren’t mine!” Then look at his face and see if he is blushing. Pause. Take careful note of how he reacts. Depending on who is asking, you may be able to tell which one may have been mistaking your car for the No-Tell Motel.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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