Flirty women didn’t sober him up for sex like he thought

Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 11/04/2018 (2742 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I went to the bar by myself last weekend because my friends were out of town. Two women at the bar seemed to be quite interested in me and they seemed to have something going on between them too. I saw them kiss lightly on the lips when they thought I had my back turned. Then things seemed to change. They started talking to me and said I was drinking a little too much. They asked if I had a car with me. I had my truck.

I asked why they wanted to know and they said they wanted to take me home for the night. One of them offered to drive my truck to their place and grinned and winked. I thought I’d been invited to my first threesome!

At their place, they fed me and attempted to sober me up for better sex, I thought. They kissed me and were lots of fun. When I was a bit more sober, to my shock, one of them said: “Here’s your coat. You can drive home safely now!” and they walked me back to my truck. So what happened to the threesome? What do you think?

— Disappointed Drunk, Osborne South

Dear Disappointed Drunk: Either they just liked you at the bar as a new pal, and were seriously worried about you getting into an accident; they pulled a little joke on you; or circumstances changed their minds.

There was no harm done to you, except the disappointment and hurt pride. You shouldn’t have been drinking hard in the bar with a vehicle outside. You have no idea how you appeared to them in the bar, and later at their place, but perhaps you turned from a hot playmate into “Dude” or “Buddy” instead, and that’s the kiss of death to sex. They probably ended up feeling protective.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend and I were pretty surprised when her parents gave us separate bedrooms when we visited them in the country. We rolled our eyes, and then my girlfriend invited me to secretly join her in the basement bedroom as soon as her parents went to sleep.

In the morning I woke up early and went up to the kitchen. Her mom was there and said she noticed I slept in the basement, too. I said I did, and that her daughter and I live together and sleep together every night. I smiled, she grimaced, and I went back downstairs.

That night at dinner, my girlfriend’s mom said, “I expect you two to stay in your own bedrooms tonight.” My girlfriend told her that instead we would leave after we ate. Mom gritted her teeth, but said nothing. After summer, my girlfriend’s dad said he would talk to the mom.

It was so tense, we left. Dad called his daughter and reported his talk didn’t change her mom’s mind (and he apparently doesn’t get a vote). My girlfriend received that news in silence on the phone. Then she emailed her mother and father, and said: “My brother and I had to listen to you two bang the headboard and make noises almost every night for years, and we never made an issue of it with you.” Now, nobody’s talking. Help!

— Tense Situation, St. James

Dear Tense Situation: I once asked my brother John how he kept his teenagers and young adult children close during the years when they had boyfriends and girlfriends at the lake. He said they were permissive and there were no sleeping room assignment lists like our own mother used to make. He and his wife went to bed and shut their door, and let the couples work it out.

Your situation after the fiery headboard email is such that you may need to leave a space for cooling off and then make a few day trips and say pleasant goodbyes after supper before things work out differently.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6