Nerdy dude needs a fashion makeover

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/07/2019 (2609 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m single again! OK, almost divorced, and lacking confidence to get started all over again. Where would a guy learn about style? I know I’ve always been pretty out-to-lunch on that subject, but since the breakup, I’ve found a great job with some travelling, and I’m fitter than ever before. I feel like the last piece missing in the puzzle is clothes, hair, and better glasses. I have an analytical mind for business, but for some reason, not my own appearance. Any advice would be welcome.

— Nerdy-Looking Man, Fort Garry

Dear Nerdy: Women are often better at analyzing style for guys than men are themselves. Still, you can look around at your work friends. Try to find a person you know who has a similar build, dresses well in styles you like, and analyze it. How does that guy dress for work, sports, casual hanging out? Check out magazines, movies, and watch people walking around in malls.

Don’t let your hairdesser choose your hairstyle. Hit the magazine stands and look to see who has hair a bit like yours in strength, amount of curl and colour and projects an image you like. Take that magazine with you to get a cut. Don’t let yourself be talked into something else you hate but your hairdesser thinks is hot. As for eyewear, look for glasses that make you look cool in the way YOU want to look cool, and put some trust in the opticians who work in these stores, trained to know about complementary styles for face shapes. Finally, it’s summer, so don’t be afraid of colour, especially for leisure clothes. Lots of guys opt for all beige or all grey everything — and it’s dull, dull, dull! Choose some wild-coloured beach shirts and have some fun. You can do this!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a woman in her 60s and I hate the idea of retiring. I feel like it’s giving up. It’s like saying “I can’t do it anymore,” when I know I can, and with knowledge and experience greater than most! I don’t have to retire, but my husband is pressuring me big time. He wants to golf every morning and travel in the winters. I love to travel, and I love golf, but I also love my work more, and don’t want to lose it. What should I tell him?

— Not Retiring!, Tuxedo

Dear Not: If you give up you career to follow him and his golf clubs, you may become one very resentful woman. Your husband, I gather, has not run your life pre-retirement, and he doesn’t get to run it now, as he turns 60.

He is the one who retired, and that was his choice! He might not even like it after a year. I’ll never forget a group of dentists we met in Puerto Vallarta who sold their practices at 55, and were bored stiff living in Puerto Vallarta for six months, golfing and drinking every day. Half of them were going back to buy into practices again.

Encourage your husband to golf his lovin’ arms off here this summer and fall. Then plan to take a couple of three-week holidays with him down south where he may even stay for a few months and golf daily. However, keep on enjoying your job here. You may even be able to do part of it online. Just don’t give up the working life you love for his golfing desires, or you could end up a bitter and unhappy couple.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 42 and recently divorced. I’m a dad with two awesome kids, both in high school, and I am so damn lonely. I don’t let my kids see it, as they are dealing with enough on their own with the divorce having been so recent. What do I do? My wife was my best friend (I thought).

— Lonely Man, North Winnipeg

Dear Lonely: You don’t have to be lonely in Winnipeg if you’re single in the summer. Adventures for Successful Singles (204-775-3484) has a full curriculum of sports, arts and social activities still running all through the summer, with about 1,800 members.

There’s also a heart-mending course from Oct. 16 to Dec. 18, taken from the popular Bruce Fisher book Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends, and it is taking memberships already. Too blue to wait? Buy the book at McNally Robinson and start getting your heart into the healing mode.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography