Before bailing on marriage, talk it out with husband

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 18/07/2019 (2605 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband watches the TV with the loving attention he used to show me. I swear he caresses his new remote in an unnecessary way.

Now that we have streaming services, he binges entire TV series over a few days. At night, when he thinks I am long asleep, he watches other websites with… suggestive situations.

I’d still like to have sex, but not with that jerk. Anyway, his body has no interest in me, even if his mind might.

This is not the married life I had in mind after the kids were gone! You know what that means? I feel a rebellion coming on, and there’s a guy at work who is hinting he’d like to help me out. Do you have any advice as I stand on the precipice ready to…

— Pull the Rip Cord, Westwood

Dear Rip Cord: Don’t blow this marriage up without talking about it. There could be a lot of love left on one side or the other, under that surface coldness.

Imagine this scenario: maybe your husband thinks you stopped caring about him a long time ago and he’s finding his pleasure where he can — on TV and online, though still staying “loyal.”

At least talk to your husband, no matter how hurt and angry both of you are right now. You have nothing left to lose by revealing your messed-up feelings. If the talking doesn’t go well and he won’t go to counselling either, then make your decision to go — if you wish.

Once you break up, and those angry emotions settle down, then let a new guy come into your life. But don’t slip out from under the blankets at home now and go out cheating with some guy at work. Wait until you have a clean break.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have a guy who hits on me on Facebook non-stop, and it’s someone I used to work with. I’ve told him to leave me alone, but he seems to think it’s me flirting back somehow (he’s a real idiot). Should I just block him? Is that rude?

— Polite Canadian, Brandon

Dear Polite: His rudeness is worse than you blocking him, so go ahead and do it. He won’t be able to see you or message you again once you add him to your Facebook blocked list. Won’t that be lovely?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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