Don’t give bitter ex the attention he craves

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 22/07/2019 (2602 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: Someone went through my car looking for something, and I think I know who it was. Nothing was taken except my peace of mind. I’m sure it was my ex, who was trying to rattle me by getting into the only private space of mine he’s ever going to see again.

He didn’t steal anything, but he had an old extra key, and wanted to rattle me by throwing some junk around and leaving the doors unlocked so I’d know he’d been there. He wants me to react. I feel angry and torn. Please help!

— Freaking Out, Fort Garry

Dear Freaking: Although he didn’t take anything and he had a proper key, he broke into your car. Call the police about this crime and alert them to the fact your ex-boyfriend is angry and vindictive, and you think he’s the culprit. You might also see a lawyer and react in a way that doesn’t give your ex any sense of satisfaction, but shows him you mean business if he tries to violate your space and take away your feeling of safety and privacy.

Also contact a security specialist and invest in some lighting and locks that make it hard for anyone to get into your car, garage or house. You’ll want to change your car locks ASAP.

All this will not be the satisfaction your ex was looking forward to. He wanted you to be screaming, crying and upset and to have more emotional contact with him! Don’t call him; block him from calling you. Angry telephone contact where he could hear your voice would suit him best, so don’t give him any opportunity.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I staged a surprise birthday party for a friend at her house and afterwards, she told me in a quiet voice never to do that again. Apparently, she was so shocked when everyone popped up and yelled “surprise” she lost control of her bladder a little. She managed to run and hide that from the crew of friends, but she was mortified and she basically said her “personal humiliation” was my fault.

I am so sorry! I had no idea. I apologized backwards and forwards to her, but she isn’t taking any of my calls. We used to be friends who talked every second day. What can I do?

— Lost a Friend, Westwood

Dear Lost A Friend: Some friends, who are not as close as you think, will drift away after a fight. Had you been blood sisters, this friend would have let it go at some point, after staying mad for a while. This woman is not granting instant forgiveness and maybe will grant nothing at all.

She may be tired of the friendship, and this was enough to end it. You should know most people don’t enjoy big surprises where they are the one to be shocked and surprised. Knowing ahead that a party is being held in your honour gives you a chance to dress up and be ready for the fun.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I watched a man stick out his foot and trip our friend in the bar. The friend went down and everybody laughed. The tripped friend hurt his knee quite badly.

I called out the guy who did the tripping in front of everyone, but he was too drunk to care and told me to “Get a #$%&* life and a sense of humour!” What was funny about that?

— Don’t Get It, North End

Dear Don’t Get It: There’s nothing funny in slapstick humour for most people unless it’s an ancient cartoon. And those old cartoons weren’t even particularly funny decades ago, which is why they died out.

It’s a type of mean behaviour disguised by “humour,” and the only people who would do this now are operating with a very small part of their brain. You were right to call this person out. Though he defended himself, it lessens the chances he’ll pull this “joke” again.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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