Don’t spoil mom’s later-life lust

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/10/2019 (2502 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My old mom brought her brand-new man over last weekend for dinner, and we were shocked. She’s 72 and he’s in his late 50s. What are both of them thinking? My mother, at her age, could have a stroke and die in an instant — and this guy should be chasing women is own age! What does he think he’s doing? And, just think, what if he wants to have sex with her? Maybe they’re already doing it!

It’s obviously not like they’re “just friends,” as they were holding hands under the table and laughing at each other’s silly jokes. I caught them kissing in the hallway — a sight I won’t soon forget. It was no peck on the cheek. I was thinking of telling them sarcastically to “get a room,” but they left the party early, presumably to go to somebody’s place to do something just like that. I shudder to think of what.

— Shocked Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Shocked Daughter: Well, aren’t you the spoil-sport! These two happy people have arrived at the “live for today” stage of their lives and they don’t give a flying flip what you, in your smug younger life, seem to think. Good for them. Plus, you’re easy to shock and that’s half the fun of visiting a daughter like you.

Your best move is to back off and don’t try to spoil the fun and the companionship. Think of the lack of loneliness in their lives these days. They are disgustingly happy! You should learn from them not to be age-prejudiced. Let’s hope you have as much vivacity when you hit either of their ages to enjoy life, love, affection and a sexual relationship. Your new attitude should be, “I want to be like mom!”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got a strange phone call from a voice I barely recognized. It was a call from a false friend. She and I parted company back in university. She said she wanted to apologize for something she did back then, because it had been bothering her for years.

I asked her what she did and she said she stole a boyfriend away from me by telling me he was cheating when he wasn’t. Then, she told me she married him. By this time, I was remembering the beer-drinking slime-ball guy and her and I was starting to get annoyed. On a hunch, I said, “And how’s that marriage going for you?” And she said, “Terrible. He’s a drunk and I just kicked him out recently. Why do you ask?”

I said, “Just wondering!” and hung up the phone in her ear. But why did she call me up to tell me this?

— Weirded Out By Phone Call, Selkirk

Dear Weirded Out: She’s so mad at him, she’s wishing she never stole him from you! As long as she was happy to have the stolen “prince,” she wasn’t feeling all that guilty. Once she realized he was an alcoholic, she probably regretted taking him. But it wasn’t until now — when she had to get rid of him — that she felt “so guilty” she had to pick up the phone and try to stir up some emotions in you. Perhaps she’d had a few drinks herself. Most people wouldn’t have the nerve to pull this kind of cheap trick while sober.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m on a diet and exercise regime and have lost a lot of inches and now guys at work are looking at me. Last week, one of the guys asked me if I had a new boyfriend and he said, “You sure seem to be smiling a lot and you’ve obviously lost weight.” I told him my happiness was none of his business and then he apologized all over the place and asked me not to report him to human resources. Why would I do that? He just annoyed me.

— Don’t Get It, Elmwood

Dear Don’t Get it: Asking a personal question or commenting on a co-worker’s appearance is risky these days. If you were good friends at work, the exchange may not have felt so cutting. Many people react in a big way to the smallest personal remarks, so it’s best to keep our thoughts private.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography