Kudos to caregiver

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/02/2020 (2395 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was disappointed in your answer to Mr. Macho from Transcona, in that you failed to defend the nurse at the health centre for doing her job and following well-known evidence that women can be just as guilty of spousal abuse as men. 

In the decades I practised family law, I often heard male clients complain they were subject to serious and repeated physical abuse at the hands of their smaller partners or they only hit back at their spouses in reaction to insults, public humiliations and/or physical abuse. Yet they were charged and their wives given a pass. 

I know current police protocol demands both parties be charged when the man complains of abuse, but male egos and the shame of being dominated by a smaller person often stands in the way of complaining about female abuse to the police. The nurse knew better and acted properly. She should be commended.

— Former Lawyer, Manitoba

Dear Former Lawyer: The man said he and his girlfriend were engaged in play-fighting (clearly not their first time) where they kick at each under the covers, and he fell out of bed and sprained his ankle. Then, the man said his girlfriend bragged to the medical people that she “beat him up and kicked him out of bed.”

The nurse asked her to leave the room, and they questioned the man to see if he was being physically abused. In part of his reply he said “a woman can’t beat up a man” which you rightfully say is false. It can, and does happen.

I didn’t defend the bragging woman, and also said medical people are on the alert for women abusing men now. I didn’t directly commend the nurse, as you suggested, nor did I criticize her. Clearly you wanted to make a bigger point, and now you have made it.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I ran into the cutest girl from my college class at The Forks and we visited as she shopped. I asked her sit down and have tea or coffee and dessert with me, and she said her mom, who was shopping with her close by, would have to join us. 

They were both wearing head scarves. It was a nice visit, but more formal than I’d hoped for. She is such a sweet girl and her mother was charming. Would I even have a chance with a girl from her religion?

— Different Culture, Winnipeg

Dear Different: If you did, it’d be a very small chance indeed. Depending on her exact religion, this young woman may already be betrothed to a more suitable guy from their family’s circle of friends. 

You could have a school-based friendship, but don’t hope for much more. Now you know your type, try looking for a different girl with a sweet personality, who might be better able to date a “westerner” privately, as is the custom.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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