Happy in the bubble of isolation

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 17/04/2020 (2007 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband and I are discovering a silver lining to social isolation and distancing. When we first got together, we were travelling Europe with friends and ended up going off by ourselves to countries where we couldn’t speak the language.

We had our own little two-person bubble and we were very happy. Now we are both working from home and alone together again 24/7 — and we’re loving it. We have time for working, cooking together, watching TV, playing games and spend a lot of time in bed, reading or making love. Are we suffering? Not at all — at least not yet!

— Return to Young Love, Wolseley

Dear Return: For some couples, being at home together is difficult, but you two started out that way in perfect harmony, and have returned to it. Lucky for you!

For those who find it a bit too much togetherness, working on different projects in different parts of the house and having their own “caves” can make up for the part of the day they normally spent apart at separate workplaces.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Although I can understand that one lonely lady’s delight in making a list of people she once knew well so she could phone them in this time of isolation, connecting with old friends can be problematic.

A very “old” friend (we’re both in our 80s) called a few weeks ago and I was very happy to hear she was still on Spaceship Earth. But I’m my husband’s caregiver and often don’t have much free time, plus I’m often waiting for a call from one of our doctors or for someone to deliver something (they have to phone so we can buzz them in).

Spending a lot of time on the phone is not something I generally enjoy. Can you suggest a kind way I can tell people I can’t chat for long?

I can’t even ring my own doorbell and say someone’s at the door, as I don’t have a doorbell! Maybe I can put my timer on? I need my “me” time. I would appreciate suggestions.

P.S.: A suggestion for these weeks in isolation is Julia Cameron’s self-help book, The Artist’s Way, or her other book, It’s Never Too Late to Begin Again. They are both 12-week programs focused on expanding one’s creativity.

— Can’t Talk Much On The Phone, Winnipeg

Dear Can’t Talk Much On The Phone: Thanks for the Julia Cameron suggestions. As for limiting the phone callers’ times, start the call off by saying, “How nice of you to call!” but mention that you’re waiting for a delivery or a doctor’s call, and say you can only stay on the phone for 10 minutes or whatever length of time you feel comfortable with.

When they hit the end of that period, you say, “Oops, gotta go now. Nice chatting!” But if you are enjoying the conversation and feel relaxed about your time, you could let it go longer. Don’t throw out the whole idea of phoning old friends because it can be a lot of fun if not taken too far.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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