Phone-sex fizzle-out likely due to COVID loneliness

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/12/2020 (2127 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I met a man recently who really attracted me, and he suggested we start phoning each other at night. I said OK, because God knows I don’t have anything else going on in my love life these days!

We started having two-hour nightly conversations and really fun phone sex. Then I suggested we both do two-week quarantines and then have a real date, face-to-face, and maybe start having a real relationship.

He said, “Oh, no. Can’t do that!” I said, “Why not?” There was silence and he said, very slowly, “I have a real partner.”

I said, like the smart-mouth I am, “As in what? Man or woman? Married or just dating?”

Then he said very quietly, “My partner is a man and we are living together, but we work opposite shifts.” He explained to me he was bisexual and said he was sorry he involved me. His excuse? “You just seemed so nice.”

I said, “Stop right there! I don’t want to hear your lame excuses. Leave me alone, you faker!”

He made a fool of me and hurt my feelings so badly. Why did he do that to me?— Decimated, River Heights

Dear Decimated: You have every right to be furious, but you did agree to phone sex. He liked you and he was lonely during this pandemic.

Some people are doing foolish things, just to have some human company. He and his partner are working opposing shifts and rarely see each other.

You went along with the casual phone-sex relationship, so it’s not all his fault. Can you write this off as a COVID casualty? It’s a hard thing to do, but staying angry is not good for a person, physically or emotionally.

Normal dating times will be back as vaccines come, and COVID goes. A lot more information can be gleaned about real situations when two new people meet in person and have normal first dates, but that isn’t possible just yet.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: You should perhaps have better prepared Pulled in Two Directions. (That’s the young guy who felt his girlfriend abandoned him for friends and family in Alberta because of her COVID loneliness.)

She had only him and one roommate in Manitoba while he had a bunch of buddies he could game online with in the evenings.

Perhaps if he put himself in her shoes, he might realize that he too is immature. He feels abandoned, yet did he give her assurance she was No. 1 when she was here?

A little soul-searching on his part is needed now she wants to come back after COVID is over.— Concerned Reader, Manitoba

Dear Concerned: You and I agree this pair should take a real look at this relationship, regarding a possible repair.

But right now, the young man really needs to vent about his feelings of being abandoned by this girl in hard times — and work out a resolution, if they can find one.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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