Boyfriend can take his stand somewhere else

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This article was published 12/01/2021 (2097 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My politically involved boyfriend demonstrates about every darn thing! He’s never happier than when he’s making a placard and plotting something to chant in a protest parade. And that’s no matter how small or stupid the issue!

It’s not just one issue; it’s everything wrong in the world.

I tell him it’s not good for his blood pressure in his 30s to be getting worked up and ranting all the time, and he finally said to me a week ago: “Too late for that. What do you think I take the pills for, babe?”

When he has nothing coming up, he phones politicians and picks fights with other well-known people. These days, in the pandemic, he’s harassing me too! Last night he called me down for not being “socially engaged” and aware of all the terrible injustices going on in the world.

When I tried to defend my balanced way of thinking, which is picking a cause or two (not 50 of them) to protest about, he called me an “empty-headed nitwit.” I hit the wall! I have two degrees and a job, compared to his high school diploma and no career.

— To Leave or Not to Leave, Osborne Village

Dear Leave: With two degrees under your belt, and a job, why are you hanging with this guy? You aren’t recognizing you need to bid adieu to this professional protester, and make a difference to the quality of your life. Also, you could be making a difference in your chosen field and contributing to the world.

This man needs a more suitable helper/lover. He really needs a starry-eyed young thing by his side, carrying his signs and his spray-paint cans, and asking him what he wants her to write next.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I loved your replies about the regifting lady, who year after year passed old gifts along (with the same wrapping) at a special girlfriends’ only after-Christmas party. You suggested she might not have the money for the “$40 limit” gifts.

As someone who used to just scrape by, and once had to wrap up boxes of homemade baking for a “mandatory” gift exchange, I appreciate that you showed sensitivity and allowed that the “regifter” may simply not have the money for a $40 gift every year.

It’s also possible that the group has no clue what this lady might actually need or want, and people give her something ridiculous every year! If the group actually cares about the regifter, they can try giving her a consumable such as a gift card, or find out what she really wants. The letter writer (who was angry about having a regifter in the group) simply sounded petty.

— K.C., Transcona

Dear K.C.: Yes, that was a petty attitude, at the very least. A $40-minimum for a group of friends tells us that gang has a large amount of disposable income for gifts outside their families. But they could certainly tolerate one regifter in the group, as they’re still getting a fairly expensive gift from her every year.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is in regard to the annual regifter at the girlfriend’s after-Christmas party. Christmas is supposed to be a happy time. Give the regifter something she cannot regift, like a basket with cheese, fruit, pâté and crackers. There is no way she can pass that on the next year.

— Thinking Outside the Box, Winnipeg

Dear Thinking: That would certainly work, though a perishable food plate would stick out at a girlie party. The annoyed letter writer stated that some participants liked to give pricey gifts like lingerie.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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