Collaborate to make Valentine’s Day truly special

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This article was published 05/02/2021 (2072 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Valentine’s Day is coming and it feels like Christmas is just over! I hate buying romantic gifts!

It seems I’m always scraping around looking for gifts that will please my fussy girlfriend, who is 28. I’ve given her flowers and jewelry the past two years we’ve been together, and I’m flat out of ideas, with not much time to go.

The first year I was with her I gave her a fancy toaster and she cried, so I know I can’t go the small appliance route again. Nor should I give her a gift card, as she says that just means people don’t want to be bothered thinking about a personalized gift.

Please help! I really love this girl and want to marry her some day. — Worried Guy, St. Boniface

Dear Worried: Feb. 14 falls on a Sunday this year, which means Saturday night could be the beginning of an overnight surprise event, culminating with breakfast on Sunday.

It’s not clear why you seem to think you’re the only one who should be planning for Valentine’s Day. How about you plan a special night and morning together?

Maybe you could put together a great playlist for a dance party, with an actual list she can check out. Maybe your sweetheart could do the main course of the dinner and you could sort out a crazy cake with lots of chocolate and hearts on it — buy it or bake it.

Then there are candles, coloured lightbulbs and a dollar-store disco ball to pick up for lighting atmosphere. You might also line up a romantic comedy for the next morning — collaborate with her to pick that.

And in the morning, when it’s actual Valentine’s Day, exchange gifts. But this time talk about little gifts ahead of time, and give each other some hints.

Just take her in your arms and say: “Sweetheart, what would you like for Valentine’s Day?”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend and I are getting close to the point of breaking up, and here comes Valentine’s Day. I don’t want to spend too much on a lost cause, and he wants a special tool for fixing his motorcycle. I don’t want to dish out $200-plus, when I doubt we’ll make it past the end of our lease on May 1.

What do you suggest? I’ve always given him expensive presents and he’s been very generous as well, although I’m sure he doesn’t feel that way now after the fights we’ve been having.

I’m so tired of how lazy he is around the house. What can I get for a “goodbye useless” gift? — Not Spending Big Bucks, St. Norbert

Dear Not Spending Big: You need a gift with an invisible price tag, that’s non-returnable, so he can’t figure out the dollar value.

When couples are in love, those gifts usually fall in the homemade or antique category. A cheap suitcase would not be nice, though it would get across the “bon voyage” message.

Why not be semi-classy to the end and buy him a tool he’d like, though not as expensive as they’ve been in the past? You won’t feel good if you know you’re being a jerk, especially when you might need to hang on together until the lease ends.

It’s just February, so no use giving anything obviously cheap and insulting at this point. Breakups when you live together are better when they’re brief, though allowing both of you enough time to find separate digs.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I want to offer a different perspective on the woman whose husband was constantly burping and farting. (I speculated he wanted some fun and hilarity in the marriage again, and suggested board games or sexy games from an erotic shop. —Miss L.)

Rather than doing this (expelling gas) for laughs, it could be that he has developed some food intolerances he’s not aware of. If he’s not able to digest food properly, burping and farting is the body’s response! He could have issues digesting dairy, wheat, spicy foods or something else.

He should see a nutritionist or naturopath to discuss this and experiment with eliminating different foods to get to the source of the problem.

In addition to causing gas, food intolerances can also lead to malabsorption of nutrients so his overall health may be improved by this as well. — My Two Cents’ Worth, River Heights

Dear Two Cents’ Worth: You have a point because he seemed to have a never-ending supply of gas, and that could certainly point to digestive problems.

However, not excusing himself to go to the bathroom to expel gas when he knows his wife will be unamused and turned off also suggests some anger and revenge.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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