Be clear about intentions with potential suitors

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/02/2021 (2068 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a larger, tall woman in my early 30s, very curvy, with long hair, nice clothes and jewelry. I’m considered beautiful by some men, but “kind of intimidating.”

I have trouble finding men who truly want a luscious lady. They seem to want slim to medium. Some have a chubby fetish, but that’s not wanting a woman to take out in public. It’s all about sex.

I don’t want to be some guy’s dirty little secret, making clandestine visits to my condo to be with someone who has “plenty of everything,” as one guy put it.

When I meet a man I always ask, “Are you single?” That really matters to me now. Married men — though I’ve had short relationships with a few — are not for me anymore.

I now say, “Tell me about your former ladies — personality, interests and physical builds.” One guy asked me if I was conducting a job interview! But I do want to know ahead of time if I fit in with what he wants and needs.

If I’m the first large lady in a man’s life, then I back away. If he has a history of girlfriends with some curves, there’s hope. If he’s a bit heavy himself, there is even more hope.

Do you think I’m being too careful in my pre-selecting? I photograph very well, and get a lot of initial interest.

When we come to the end of this COVID situation I’m ready to find a real, live husband. I had a big talk with myself and I’m ready to get serious now in this life. — Large, Lovely & Lonely, Winnipeg

Dear Lovely: Photographs can be deceiving, especially just a head shot, at a certain angle with lots of hair involved. You need to have some of your whole self — maybe outside in the snow throwing a snowball — pictures that are fun and give some idea size-wise.

Since gatherings are not allowed yet, I imagine you must be making contacts online, or just making important plans for when COVID is no longer an issue. This is also a good time to get ready for serious romance in other ways.

It’s imperative you be healthy as possible, as well as large and lovely. If you want to get married and have babies, you need to be strong physically and active. If you don’t like to go walking alone, exercise machines can help, especially when you’re distracted by watching TV or a movie.

Open up to your friends and let them know what you need. Be this direct: “I’m looking for a serious relationship and family now and need a guy who is ready to settle down.” Invite them to help matchmake and even tell them you’d be happy to be connected to friends of friends.

And to my readers, I’d like to encourage other large and lovely ladies, who have found their dream man, to write in with their tips for getting serious and finding Mr. Right.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend keeps getting speeding tickets, and she’s driving one of my cars — she doesn’t have one of her own.

We had a big fight about it last night, and part of the fight was about her taking chances with her life, and possibly dying in a vehicle I should never have offered to her. She told me where I could stuff my vehicles!

She works at home and makes her own hours. Today I phoned and humbly asked her to pick something up for me. She told me, “I can’t drive your cars anymore, remember? Pick it up yourself!”

I said, “You got me there…” and went to get the thing myself, and was late getting home. She’d already eaten.

Now what? It’s very inconvenient for both of us, with her not having any car.

Help! I suggested driving lessons and she told me where to stuff that, too. — Dangerous Driver’s Main Man, St. Boniface

Dear Main Man: Your argument should stick for a time so she gets the message, which you should doggedly repeat whenever she gets mad: “I don’t want you to die and certainly not because I gave you my car.”

Then just let things be less convenient for both of both of you, until she’s willing to change.

You both need to simmer down and talk together about why she speeds. Where did she learn to drive ? Has she forgotten most of the rules since her driver’s test? Lots of people do.

Consider picking up a book on safety rules for drivers and read it together. No doubt you’ve forgotten some of the finer points yourself.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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