Don’t let dolls dominate your dating life

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 02/04/2021 (2020 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a big fan of a certain collectible from what is arguably a bygone era — classic dolls. I just can’t get enough of them. I love finding them and keeping track of my collection. The issue is that I live in a small two-bedroom home I own and have a lot of different dolls — hundreds.

I’m also single and 31, and I just worry if I want to bring a guy home, he might be freaked out by my collection which is all over the house in every room except the bathroom.

I’m not weird — I’m a pretty awesome person, if I say so myself. I don’t want to get rid of my dolls, nor do I want them in storage bins. What do you think? Do men care about this sort of thing? I want to have an intimate relationship at my age.

—The Single Princess, North End

Dear Single Princess: A bedroom full of inanimate faces with coloured glass eyes looking at a guy is not going to be so comfortable for him. That’s not the kind of thing most men fantasize about!

It sounds like you haven’t experimented with anyone outside your close friends and family on seeing your full dollhouse collection. Bring friends of both sexes over, when COVID is in check, and ask their opinions.

Dolls in display cabinets filling a second bedroom shouldn’t bother anyone, nor should a special doll or two in the living room or dining room.

However, you are looking to entertain adults, and grown men at that. So, you must be the special living doll in your household.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My son has gained a ton of weight and I’m really worried, about his health, primarily, but also because his social life has gone! He used to be such an athlete — on teams, in the gym and running outside, too — but, about six months before the pandemic he quit all his sports, and started playing video games all the time. No more friends coming around.

He has gained about 60 pounds! He doesn’t work out anymore and for a guy who is about to turn 17, he isn’t exactly setting himself up for a good life.

When I tried talking to him about it, he got really defensive! How do I get through to him? He told me it was none of my business. Is he right? He doesn’t go out and he doesn’t seem to have any friends now, except on the computer. I’m his father, and I care. I’m scared for him.

— Loving Dad, Winnipeg

Dear Loving Dad: You’re right to be concerned, as that’s an unhealthy weight gain, and the hiding away can only be partly explained by the pandemic. What happened before the pandemic that might have caused him to start eating obsessively and live through his computer?

This requires consultation with your wife and a subtle investigation. If something traumatic happened to your son to make him quit sports, hide and eat obsessively, you need to get to the bottom of it.

Could it have been a breakup with someone he loved? Perhaps bullying at school or other issues there? Is he suffering from a depression he doesn’t understand or doesn’t recognize as such?

Don’t let it lie. If he’s depressed, don’t let him get down any deeper, as you wouldn’t want him to do something rash. Call the school, his teachers, school counsellors, his doctor and set up appointments to work out a plan to dig him out.

Let your son know you love him and are looking for help for him. Ask him outright what he’d like to see happen. He might say, “Nothing,” but ignore that. Maybe he’s lost sight of his future beyond living day-to-day. You haven’t!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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