Best to keep dad’s surprise in the moment

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This article was published 12/02/2022 (1365 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My teenage kids and I are giving their Dad a puppy — it’s already picked out and ready. It is the exact kind of dog we lost in the last year.

The problem is, the kids want to do a video of Dad’s face when he gets the puppy, inspired by all the puppy gift-giving online this Christmas. My husband would hate that, as he will probably have tears and not want to be embarrassed publicly. The kids mean well, but how do I persuade them to put the phones away?

— Need Some Coaching, Tuxedo

Dear Coaching: This is a good time to talk to the kids about what’s appropriate for online consumption and what’s a private moment that should be kept in the family. A camera stuck in their dad’s face while he learns what’s happening might inhibit his natural reactions. Some things are best kept private. If he’s an emotional type, he may not want the whole world to see him cry.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every year on Valentine’s Day, my persistent ex-husband of five years tries to make his ridiculous out-of-date feelings known to me. He still stalks me a few times a year, driving slowly by my house back and forth, in his very noticeable big vehicle.

It was bad enough when he was newly divorced from me, and dating a number of women, but he’s had a new wife for two years now and still drives by.

Last Valentine’s Day he snuck over to my house and put another fancy card in the mailbox, signing it: “Forever, I will love you.”

His annual cards always come after supper on Valentine’s evening. He rings the doorbell to make sure I know before he takes off. I’ve warned him never to come on my property again, but he just laughs, like he still owns the house. He doesn’t.

We broke up because he was cheating with a number of women. It burns his butt to think I’d ever get over him. His old line: “Those other women meant nothing to me, but you, I loved!” makes me ill.

I have a great new man in my life this year, and he’s got a big build. He knows about the creepy Valentines I get in from my ex-husband and how it makes me feel so anxious and upset. My new guy says he’s going to wait for my Valentine stalker to show up and “clean his clock.” I think that’s asking for serious trouble, don’t you?

— Ex-Wife of Stalker, Sage Creek

Dear Ex-Wife: If your new man lies in wait and beats up your ex, he could be charged with assault. So, that’s not a good idea! Call your lawyer today, and tell them the details of the recurring Valentine’s problem and how, despite your warnings, continues this stalking behaviour. You’re best to go after your ex legally.

Try to capture this year’s Valentine drop-off on a security camera. That’d be much more productive than fisticuffs between your ex and you new guy.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Our Valentine’s Day family celebration is tempered by COVID concerns this year. The kids are making homemade Valentines just for the family and some to drop off in the mailboxes of their cousins. I want to do something special in the house, but don’t know what. Any ideas for me?

— Not Creative, But Willing, Fort Garry

Dear Willing: A mother usually knows her kids’ personalities well, so homemade Valentine hearts with their names written in big letters, and best personality traits written higgledy-piggledy below, would be a nice keepsake. For dinner, a pizza cut in the shape of a heart, and a cake with cinnamon Valentine candies on it, would make the dinner feel festive. (Don’t forget to cue up some classic love songs!)

Instead of retreating to all your personal screens after dinner, consider a family board game or get out the playing cards.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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