Despite loneliness, don’t settle for disdainful date

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 05/09/2023 (1065 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into my Grade 10 high school crush on the University of Manitoba campus. We went out together a whole year in the city! Then his family moved away to a little town and we were separated. I was 15 and cried my eyes out for two weeks when he had to move. That was three years ago.

Now he looks like a different guy — really hot! I asked him to give me his phone number and he did. I called him last night and asked him if he wanted to go for a burger and he said, “Sure! I’ll come get you!” Well, he pulls up on this motorcycle and puts a helmet on me. Wow!

He said, “I know a good place” and drove us to a stand to get burgers and then to a park nearby where we sat down on some grass on his roll-up blanket (quite the mover)! Finally, I said, “How do you know your way around so quickly in the city?” and he said, “Oh, I’ve been living in the city for a year now.” Just like that… Mr. Cool!

I said, “Why didn’t you get in touch?” And he said, “Oh, I had your old cell number, but I had a girlfriend already and I was too busy.” That may have been the truth, but it made me feel pretty unimportant.

I said suddenly, ”I want to go home now.” He took me right home.

He called me again the next night and said, “Get over your little fit?” and I said, “Yes, and I’m busy tonight.”

Miss L., I don’t have anyone else right now! Was I stupid to give up something for nothing?

— Sitting Alone and Thinking, Fort Richmond

Dear Sitting and Thinking: Don’t look at dating with a view to supply-and-demand. Look for good treatment, instead. “I don’t have anyone else right now” is not a good reason to put up with disrespectful treatment, particularly from a former boyfriend.

This guy obviously knew he hurt your feelings when he revealed he’d been here in Winnipeg a whole year, and he’d never even Facebooked you or called you for a friendly catch-up. He could have been much more careful in the way he responded to your hurt feelings the night before. “Get over your little fit?” just doesn’t cut it. If you were out fishing, you’d throw this skinny little fish back, even if you hadn’t landed another one!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: When the leaves start turning yellow and falling to the ground, I go into foraging mode and start hitting the fresh produce markets — squirrelling away food for winter. My husband says I’m being silly, when we can buy everything we want at grocery stores throughout the colder months.

I explained to Smarty Pants about the natural rhythms in the human body and how the sights and sounds of fall inspire conservation in people who are tuned in.

He hooted at me! This city slicker has no experience with food culture, but I’m the proud product of a progressive small town. How can I get him on board with me?

— Wife of Food Philistine, Seven Oaks

Dear Food Philistine’s Wife: He deserves to be tricked! On any excuse, get him out with you on a fall weekend and hit some beautiful open-air markets with fresh fruits and vegetables, flowers and amazing local artisan-made foodstuffs. Make it easy on yourself by printing out Travel Manitoba’s 2023 “Ultimate List of Manitoba Farmers’ Markets” for hubby and you. It’s a treasure trove of neighbourhood markets, listed by the days of the week they’re open: travelmanitoba.com/blog/the-ultimate-list-of-manitoba-farmers-markets-in-2023.

So get out there and have some fun on a local road trip and you may shift his thinking about food!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography