Shock bedroom encounter sadly signals divorce

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 20/11/2023 (1005 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I came home unannounced two days early from a business trip. I got home so late that I quietly let myself in with the key, not wanting to wake my wife. But when I went into the bedroom, I was shocked! There were two women sleeping there naked, in each other’s arms — my wife and her best friend, all twined up like lovers.

I quickly backed out of the bedroom, and fell into the big living room chair, shaking. I called my wife on her phone from the living room. She answered on the third ring, but still half-asleep.

I said, “I’m home already and in the house. I’ve seen you with your girlfriend! Kick her out, and see me in the living room now!” I heard some rustling in the bedroom and then they both ran out the back door and I heard my wife’s car take off. I’ve phoned her every day since, countless times, but she won’t answer.

I finally called her older brother who says his sister is “scared of me for good reason, and is back with her girlfriend, and living at home for protection!” What? I’ve never been violent with her! I really love her. Help me!

— Broken Heart, St. James

Dear Broken: It’s time for you to see a lawyer, as your wife seems to be talking divorce to her family. She seems afraid to talk to you, so you need an intermediary to open up some kind of communication. At this point, that would be a lawyer with divorce experience, who will talk to her lawyer, at least in the beginning.

This woman your wife was in bed with is still your wife’s best friend. While feelings for you took priority in the beginning, the deep feelings for her girlfriend may have never gone away. They likely have been seeing each other much more than the one time you caught them.

You may find the next letter interesting — from a woman who couldn’t return the depth of feeling her boyfriend had for her…

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m 27, and just broke up with a guy who did nothing wrong and is super wonderful — for someone else. Sadly for him, I just didn’t feel the high level of attraction that would make him my love for a whole lifetime. I really broke his heart.

He took it pretty poorly, and started crying. Then he slammed out of my place, jumped in his car and peeled down the street! Now I’m filled with anxiety because I feel like I broke some poor man’s heart, and he did nothing wrong.

Please help me get past this. It’s been seven days, and I can hardly eat these days, for the guilt. He was a nice guy. Should I go back and give it another try, which is what he was begging for?

— Bad Anxiety Cramps, West End

Dear Anxiety Cramps: Nobody wins when they buckle, and go back to an unsuitable mate. And here’s the really rotten part — they know they were not at the top of your list, and may have started treating your poorly out of resentment due to the fact you did them the “favour” of staying together.

It is no favour! By staying, you’d prevent this man from going on to find someone different who truly loves his personality, as it is. And by staying, you’d also prevent yourself from finding true love and a mate you’re very attracted to and deeply admire.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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