Leave small-town hurt behind you and move on

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 09/01/2024 (950 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I came home from university the week before Christmas, and my best friend took me for a drive. He broke it to me that my girlfriend had started cheating on me with a guy we both know who plays for a hockey team in another town near mine. I called her up immediately and told her it was over.

Breaking up was a shock for me and Christmas Day was the worst. In order to clear my head I went running, but that meant I had to pass my ex’s house, which is two doors down from mine. Guess who came out the door with her parents, dressed up to go to church?

She looked at me, and looked away — guilty as sin. Her parents glared at me. What lies has she told them about me? They used to think I was great. I guess they don’t know their daughter was the one who cheated on me and caused our breakup.

I don’t want her back, but I want the real truth to be known in town. What should I do?

— Cheated On, southeastern Manitoba

Dear Cheated On: You don’t have to do or say anything yourself. Your hometown friend can field the questions from people curious about the split. If you don’t say anything, people might think you broke up with this girl before Christmas and she’s just making do with this other guy.

It’s time to go back to your university life in the city and rev up your own social life. Now you’re free to meet a fun and interesting woman.

The city can also provide some privacy (which you don’t have in a small town) to develop a romantic relationship. Start looking forward to that freedom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a 32-year-old guy from out of town who recently moved into a high-rise and a nice view of the city. I didn’t know anybody in Winnipeg, so I was super friendly to everyone I met in the block. It turns out my new building is full of single and divorced women who are curious to see an apartment this high up. I also have a well-stocked bar, and I guess word got out.

At any rate, I met a beautiful new woman through my work connections just before Christmas, and I think I could get serious with her — except for the fact the other women keep knocking at my door, particularly on weekends. I’m just a friend to them — but tell that to my new lady.

She is pretty jealous of the steady stream of women. I don’t want to lose her, and the apartment women are just people I’m friendly with. What do you suggest?

— A Little Too Popular, Winnipeg

Dear Too Popular: Tell the women in your block you’re seeing this new person you consider a girlfriend, and she tends to be a bit jealous. If your neighbours are interested in you romantically, they’ll probably back off for now. But if you’re “just a buddy” in their eyes, they may say, “OK, no problem, I’ll text or phone you to see if the coast is clear beforehand and if you’re up for a visit.”

It’s actually good to have a phone-first rule for people in a friendly block, as too many drop-in visitors can be a pain if you need a little privacy.

Good luck in your new romantic endeavour.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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