Political silence may be best option at home

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This article was published 29/07/2024 (811 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife follows every political race as if she has a huge stake in it. She chooses who she wants to win, but never makes a move to help them out. It’s all big talk with her and I’m so sick of it.

Even worse, she gets herself involved in caring about politics outside of Canada. She’s passionately upset about United States politics now, especially the U.S. presidency, and there’s not a thing she can do about it. It’s useless ranting.

But when I complain about her stupid politics, she just points to my involvement in sports. Yes, I’m crazy about football and hockey, but those aren’t subjects I get red-faced and angry about the way she gets about politics.

I still love her. She’s good to my kids — better than my ex-wife — and they need all the love they can get.

But she is driving me crazy. What can I do?

— Frustrated, North Kildonan

Dear Frustrated: While continuing to love each other for everyone’s sake in the whole family, you need to learn how to agree to disagree. For instance, some spouses go about their political business any way they want, but outside the home.

They have wisely accepted the fact they can’t discuss politics without fighting and have decided just to stop. And yes, they still vote differently. After too much hurtful debating, the only thing they know for sure is they don’t want to let their political views get in the way of the basic love they feel for each other and the rest of the family.

It’s time to make a new peace pact. You two should agree to be free to go about your political business the way you want, knowing you may vote differently.

Stop all the useless debating at home. On election nights, one of you can stay home and the other can go to a gathering where people vote the same way they do. This can work.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I got breast enlargements that I was feeling very pleased with, but I had a hurtful thing happen. My boyfriend broke up with me recently, and decided to give me a nasty “tip” when we parted.

He told me that he liked my natural breasts better before the surgery. He really knew how to hurt me.

I want to fire back with a nasty comment about his size now, but I fear it’s too late.

— Hurt & Angry, River Heights

Dear Hurt: These are the sort of imagined comments you might practise in the mirror, but there’s no point in lowering yourself to this in real life. This guy should be your ex in every way possible now, and that includes total silence — not even polite small talk — if you run into him again. A little wave of the hand will do then just move on.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: At the fringe fest, musical and theatre friends I haven’t seen for a long time enthusiastically exchanged phone numbers and caught up like long-lost buddies, but I know they will not be calling me. It happens every year.

Why do people say they want to get together and are going to call me, and do that little movement of holding a pretend phone to their ear. They have no intention of calling. This year I found myself saying, “Yeah, right” in a quietly sarcastic tone.

My boyfriend told me I was being rude. What should I have done? I have been through this fake-friendly thing too many times before and had my hopes up they were really going to contact me, but nobody does.

— No More Waiting Games, Osborne Village

Dear No More Waiting Games: Return the volley in a pleasant voice, saying, “Sure. I’ll be glad to do that if you give me a call.” That tells the other person what’s what, and you can still part pleasantly.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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