Bit of open optimism can help dreams come true

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/08/2024 (765 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My mother, who died a few years ago, came back to me in a dream when I was alone at a cabin rental early in July at a point I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

She told me not to worry and that she was “sending two new male friends into my life.” I laughed it off because it was a just a dream, but I told my brother and sister-in-law just to document it.

Nothing happened that month, but then I went for an August visit to my brother and sister-in-law’s cabin in Ontario.

I met a male friend of theirs, who was staying in a little out-cabin on their property, along with his big male dog. Two males. Was it a setup? Maybe, but who cares?

The human male — obviously — just called to take me to a picnic at Assiniboine Park with him and his dog.

Should I be thanking my mom up in heaven for “the two males” or is this just a coincidence?

— Very Excited, Selkirk

Dear Excited: Describing the dream to people in the family really got things going. Sometimes people just need a little permission to do match-making because too many people would shame them for doing this kind of thing.

As for thanking your mom for the dream message, why not spread the gratitude?

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was at Grand Beach by myself when I saw someone familiar out of the corner of my eye. She had long blue-black hair down to her waist — it had to be her.

And it was, but she was at the water’s edge being tailed by a man and two little kids. I waved, she saw me and waved back enthusiastically. Then she talked to the man for a few minutes and ran over to me. The man and the kids just walked on by. I was elated. Maybe it wasn’t her husband after all.

There was something still burning inside me for her. Yet, I was the one who broke it off because she wouldn’t marry me. She said I was too strong for her and she feared her own personality would disappear.

So right away I asked her if she felt stronger now, and she said, “Yes, but not strong enough for the likes of you.” Then she added proudly that she was in therapy. I was immediately crushed and it showed.

She said she was sorry that she appeared to have hurt me again and said she had to go be with her family, who she ran back to.

I felt the old breakup pain start back in my gut. What exactly happened?

— Bewildered Ex, Grand Beach

Dear Bewildered: One of the painful things about life is how you can build someone up in your imagination as your true love once they’ve gone away, when in real life you two just didn’t work.

So what has changed?

This old love of yours spotted you — her old boyfriend — and told her new man she was going to go talk to you. It’s interesting she could do that, while he took the kids.

How many guys would agree to do that? She’s definitely in charge in her new relationship, when she wants to be. This woman may have found a man who’s happy to share power with her — or even be happy to have her dominate.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography