Connection with young animals could help fill void

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This article was published 30/09/2024 (733 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My boyfriend is so kind and gentle with young animals, it makes me want to have children with him. I told him that, and he shrivelled up in front of me.

He said meanly, “I’m not looking for a wife and kids at 25-years-old,” and then he shouted, “We don’t need a baby! Why don’t you just get a job at the zoo?”

I yelled back, “Well, I was thinking what it’d be like to be your wife, but now I’m not!” What do you think of this?

— Hurt Animal Lover, River Heights

Dear Hurt: Your young boyfriend is trying to tell you he doesn’t want to be anybody’s husband at this point, and that you need to fulfil your desire to be around young beings by working with them at a job. He’s not wrong, although he certainly said it very rudely and embarrassed you. Shame on him for that!

Some good can still come out of this fight, though. Contact Assiniboine Park Zoo administration (assiniboinepark.ca/zoo) and ask about different careers working in zoos, and then figure out an education pathway that might be great for you in this regard. You could also consider volunteering with the Winnipeg Humane Society (winnipeghumanesociety.ca) or at one of the city’s other animal rescue shelters.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every few months my older boyfriend goes somewhere I don’t know for about a week. He calls these getaways “business trips.” I’m in my late 20s and he’s my favourite man in the world. I love him so much.

I had one marriage right after high school, but that’s so over now. This new man is my great love in this life. He’s very sweet and is a sports fan who especially likes horse racing and he also loves big American cities. He’s doesn’t act like a playboy of any kind.

He’s my love match in every way, but I’m still nervous. This summer he pulled another disappearing act, going down to Vegas without me. I asked if he was cheating on me and he said, “No, never cheating on you — maybe on myself!” Huh? What did that mean?

When he comes back from trips, he doesn’t act one bit guilty. My feathers are ruffled, but I don’t ask him anything, because I couldn’t bear to lose him. I do tend to sulk for a while though, and then after he’s back for about two weeks, our life goes on as nicely as before. We are a such a sweet match.

I must confess these secrets trips every few months are driving me nuts. I need to know where he goes when he disappears all the time. Please help.

— Going Crazy, North Winnipeg

Dear Going Crazy: People who are attracted to something they fear will not be accepted by the romantic partner in their lives certainly have been known to disappear for private holidays. It could be your man wants the privacy to indulge in serious gambling, or a sexual interest he feels he can’t bring up with you.

He may be an angel when he’s at home, but who knows what he’s like when he’s out of town!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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