Putting real heart into it can be priceless

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 12/02/2025 (591 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I was always the Valentine Grinch — but after losing two girlfriends to my no-gifting “problem,” I’ve decided to try being warmer and not so cheap with cards and presents. So, yesterday I went and had a look at Valentine’s cards in drug stores and choked! They’re way too expensive. I need to find a different way. Please help.

— Love on a Tight Budget, northern Manitoba

Dear Tight Budget: Dollar store and thrift shop cards can fit into most budgets and still leave money for chocolate hearts. A mate can also get a kick out of romantic homemade poems or a long list of their amazing qualities. Who doesn’t love a compliment or 10?

Do you happen to be artistic? If so, you might buy a pad of paper and draw your girlfriend. She’d enjoy flattering cartoons of her doing some favourite activities — dancing, sports, playing an instrument, walking the dog — anything. The more flattering the cartoon, the better, and don’t forget to add some hearts.

By the way, are you aware that homemade cards that incorporate personal drawings are often kept forever, and annoy any new boyfriends that come later? Bonus for you, Romeo!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mother’s old boyfriend is trying to get her back through constant love-letter emails. I’ve told her about what this jerk is trying to, but she seems powerless to get rid of him.

So, yesterday I grabbed the phone and yelled at this idiot to forget my mom (using ruder words than that) and ordered him to stay the heck off our property.

Then, get this: Late last night I was still up reading, and I saw him coming right up to our door with another letter for Mom to put in the mailbox. He’s giving us both the creeps now. I want to throttle him, but it’s not worth the time in jail. Now what?

— Angry Son, West End

Dear Angry Son: Your mother can get a legal order to keep this old boyfriend away if what he’s doing has become harassment for her and her family. (That’d be you.)

However, do you get the sense at all that Mom kind of likes the attention? If she doesn’t, she can get a legal order to keep this harassing guy a certain distance away from her — or the police can pick him up and charge him.

If money for a lawyer is an issue, she can contact Legal Aid Manitoba (legalaid.mb.ca).

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; My ex-wife has found the exact kind of horse she’s been wanting for years and has told everybody who will listen. So I phoned her and told her I’d help her buy it — as a friend, with no strings attached. She told me “no way.”

Today I found out from her friends she’s going to get a loan to buy that same horse. I’m so mad! She wouldn’t accept my gift, but she’ll borrow with big interest at the bank? What’s wrong with her?

— Won’t Take Help, southwestern Manitoba

Dear Won’t Take Help: She’s not your wife anymore, and you need to back off. When a love relationship goes bankrupt, it’s impossible to buy it back with deeds requiring the ex-partner’s gratitude.

Your ex-wife is upset you tried to use her love of horses to get her thinking she’s “in your debt.” You’re mad now because she’s getting the horse anyway. She doesn’t ever want to feel you think she owes you anything anymore. She’s free now, by choice.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography