Nest mess could help you press on for success

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My suspicious dad had me followed by someone he knows and found out I was seeing a married man at his friends’ places, where we would go to make out.

Then dad kicked me out and said, “Go live with someone else who doesn’t mind if you’re a tramp and have no morals.”

So I packed my stuff and went to stay at the home of my younger aunt on my mom’s side of the family.

My uptight mother describes her youngest sister as a wild child because she works at a popular restaurant/bar and stays up until all hours partying with friends. I really love living with her already.

My problem is my man ended things with me last night after he heard my dad was onto him — my father is also a well-known tough guy in the neighbourhood.

News travels fast. Dad phoned me and said he was sorry for his ugly words. Then he said he wants me to come back home where he and my mother can keep a better eye on me so I don’t make the same kind of mistake I made with the married man.

I will not be going back home. I’m going to start a job soon at my aunt’s workplace as a waitress, and I’ll make really good tips. What do you think I should do?

— Early Independence, Elmwood

Dear Independence: It’s time to make a serious plan for yourself. If going back home to live means constant fighting with your father, it won’t last long.

But does your aunt really want you to keep staying with her, and if so, for how long? Perhaps you could find a roommate through your restaurant work and save money to pay for your own place.

You could even consider enrolling in courses for some type of professional training that interests you. What do you really want to do with your life over the next five years in terms of education and a possible career?

Think about saving as much as possible from the restaurant job to expand your options. Then you and everyone else can settle and feel better — without living on top of one another.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My boyfriend recently came back from a trip to Europe and when he took his shirt off — what a shock. He had added several upsetting tattoos of men and women doing very weird sexual things to the his snake-collection design I was familiar with.

”I had to get drunk for some of these new ones, and they’re a little crazy,” he told me. “There were a few surprises for me, too.”

I looked at the naked women and pretty personal inscriptions and said to him, “Looks like you were a very busy boy, so I’m out of here for good.”

He keeps phoning and messaging and I keep ignoring him. Am I being too harsh?

— Horrified by New Ink, River Heights

Dear Horrified: Downgrade your relationship to a friendship, for the sake of your health, both physical and emotional.

He was certainly not being true-blue to you when travelling and you won’t want to be staring at these inked ladies and their sexy inscriptions on his body when you’re being intimate. You can do better.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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