Focus on here and now with neighbourly fling

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I ran into my neighbour a little while ago, and I mean that literally. I backed into his big truck sticking out across the lane. He said he didn’t even care, and then smiled and told me he’d been hoping to get to know me.

Now we’re starting to date — just a little. I work at home and do lots of cooking every day. He loves to eat — so we’re match, right? Ha.

But here’s the problem: if we start dating and annoy each other and break up, how do we cope with living across the back lane from each other? He’s hot-looking, about eight years older than me, and I really like him so far, but I’m also feeling worried.

— Cautious, North Kildonan

Dear Cautious: Winter in cold and snowy Manitoba is the worst time of year to find people and create new romance.

So rather than worry about living too close in the event of a split, just enjoy the fact Lady Luck found an interesting man for you — and enjoy. If it doesn’t work out, you just can just ignore each other when you’re leaving or parking at the same time.

Stop worrying. Go outside when he’s due home and listen for his truck, and then accidentally-on purpose meet him by the fence and invite him in for dinner at your house if you haven’t already.

You know he’ll love the food and attention at the end of a cold day.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m a single lesbian woman, looking for an unusual birthday gift with a sexy theme. It’s for my “alternative” partner — a married woman who isn’t liberated from the volatile relationship with her husband… yet.

She will be soon — maybe even by Valentine’s Day.

She loves all the lotions and potions out there. What can I safely give her that won’t be too obvious and get her in trouble at home?

— Lady Love, West Kildonan

Dear Lady Love: Since time is drawing near for a split, and things may be volatile, it’s important not to give any too-obvious presents or cards until after that time. Then both you and she will be safer.

So, if you want to give her a really valuable gift this year, do this: don’t lose your cool and grandstand for her love.

Most importantly, if she doesn’t have a job, help her find one. Money is power, and lack of financial stability makes a person more vulnerable, especially in a breakup.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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