Why not mark first year with small church redo?

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new wife seemed OK until we got married — though not in a church as she requested. Me having two religious church weddings in a lifetime seemed too hypocritical for me. But as she has pointed out frequently since, it was her first wedding.

Then last night, it all came out when she cried, “You didn’t love me enough for a church wedding like you had with your first wife.”

She’s so wrong. I love her more than I ever loved my ex-wife, who was pregnant when we got hitched. It was just a teenage wedding, forced on us by our parents.

Now what can I do? I don’t want to lose my new wife, as this is finally real love for me.

— Deep Love, St. Vital

Dear New Deep Love: Maybe it’s too late for a big church ceremony, but you two could still have a smaller church wedding to celebrate your first anniversary. It could be so little you two could easily pay for it, and also have a more intimate dinner afterwards with the close friends and family you choose to invite. You and your wife (not the parents) can pay for it — even pizzas and a wedding cake for dessert would be fun.

This would all be worth it for your wife to feel like she finally gets the “real“ church wedding she dreamed about, and your relationship will feel warmer.

Invite friends who know about your church-wedding issue and are more than happy with redo nuptials.

Naysayers should not be encouraged to come.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is refusing to travel anywhere outside Canada this winter due to the political climate south of us. I think she’s being a ninny, as my grandmother would put it.

We are both retirees now. Yesterday, my wife put her foot down and said, “You can go ahead and disrespect my fears and buy us both tickets, but I will not get on that plane.” I said, “Fine. I’ll go on my own.”

She replied that she would buy two tickets to visit her family in Vancouver, where it was safer. One of the plane tickets is for me if I change my mind and want it, she said.

This may seem like an amicable agreement to other people, but believe me, I know my wife, and it is not. She is really mad. What should I do? This is real trouble.

— Rock and a Hard Place, West End

Dear Rock: Why would you pick what seems to be a risky travel choice this season and try to push it on your wife?

At this point you might want to be careful and see how things go politically before you decide to go travel anywhere — especially alone.

You also have a ticket to Vancouver that could be sitting there waiting for you, which your wife has already decided to pay for.

Do you really want to go anywhere without her, and if so, for how long? How about choosing the company of a woman who loves you over a worrisome travel destination this season?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

   Read full biography