Meaningful presents require a personal touch

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My wife, who’s a photographer, gave me the most beautiful framed Valentine’s Day gift. It’s a big print of a small bird who comes to visit me every day at my big window.

I work from my home office, half days, in the mornings, before heading in to the office. I open the window and leave bird seed for my little visitor just outside on the ledge, and the bird loves it.

My wife’s other thoughtful and loving gift is a new photo of the two of us, which is also up on the office wall by my computer.

I feel guilty now, because I assigned my assistant at my downtown office the duty of finding a Valentine’s Day present for my wife. She quickly came up with the idea of a very nice-looking watch, almost identical to the one she wears. My wife doesn’t wear watches, but I forgot about that and wrapped it up for her anyway.

She opened the gift and looked at it for some time. Then a tear rolled down her cheek and she said quietly, “I have two questions for you. Did your assistant pick this out for me? And do you realize she has one just like it?

Caught out, I couldn’t help but blush. I had opted out of gifting a few years ago and for good reason — I’m just too busy. My wife has gone eerily quiet now.

— Next Move? West Broadway

Dear Next Move: What your wife needs now is an authentic show of love expressed in a letter from you. From now on, she needs your handwritten words of love and appreciation attached to meaningful gifts you personally purchase or create.

She also needs a replacement Valentine’s Day gift for this year — picked out by you. Have your assistant return the watch, and then start looking — all by yourself — for a more meaningful gift. No more delegating your gift-giving duties!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Every year I find a mystery Valentine’s Day card in our mailbox, and it’s never signed. It happened again this year, and I think it’s from a guy. It was signed, “You know who,” I do not know who. Creepy!

It’s kind of a cheap, pop-up kids’ Valentine’s Day card. I need this mystery solved.

— Freaking Out, Fort Rouge

Dear Freaking Out: If this persists, you might consider contacting the police, but in the meantime, you could also install a security camera trained on your door and mailbox. Keep the valentines from this anonymous person, in case the behaviour becomes more problematic and you need speak to local authorities.

You may not be the only one in the neighbourhood getting unwanted attention via the mail delivery system.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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