Invest in future instead of investing her money

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m older; I could cash in my house and business and have a lot more than my girlfriend. She thinks she’s going to be rich when her dad kicks the bucket. He hasn’t shown any signs of looking ill, but he has promised her she’ll get an inheritance. It’s gone to her fluffy little head.

She rents a small apartment on her own, but is spending like she’s rich since she’s found out about her future inheritance.

She’s marrying me soon, but wants me to sign papers so she won’t lose any of her daddy’s money if we should ever break up.

Why doesn’t she trust me? I love her so much and could teach her how to invest that money wisely.

— Innocent Man, Winnipeg

Dear Innocent: If you want to have a solid marriage, you can’t go into it with a desire to soften up your partner and get your hands on her money to invest it.

Invest your own money and enjoy doing that without endangering the trust in your relationship with your wife-to-be.

Love is grand, but deals between marriage partners aren’t always fair, especially if we’re talking about one person getting a large inheritance. Both of you need to see your own lawyers to work out a marital agreement before you tie the knot.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband talks too loudly and it’s getting worse. Also, the volume makes him seem angry when he’s just making a small point.

He didn’t used to be like that and I find it embarrassing, especially when people are over, and it’s all because of his voice, loudly asking them to speak up.

I asked him again yesterday if he would consider going for a hearing test and he said, “And end up wearing a big thing in my ear, so everybody thinks I’m old and deaf? No way.”

I really need help handling him. To make it worse, I’m also losing a little bit of my hearing. He gets on my case about that, as if I’m the only one. Help.

— Frustrated Wife, Norwood

Dear Frustrated Wife: Many people feel the way your husband does. They can’t hear well anymore, but they don’t want to face that fact, as they don’t want to suddenly look older to other people.

Since you’re also losing some hearing, make an appointment for your own test and ask your husband to help you, saying, “Please drive me for my appointment and come in with me, so I won’t be nervous.”

If you forewarn the people doing your testing about your husband’s hearing loss, they will know what he needs to find out, subtly, about testing for his own problem.

Meanwhile he’ll see some of the modern new hearing aids, which are hardly visible now, and meet some of the staff involved so the testing place is not so intimidating.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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