Old-fashioned communication truly connects

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I got a personally handwritten letter out of the blue — pretty unusual these days. It was from a cousin I used to be close with, and it was friendly and funny and contained photos of her kids and their new animals on the farm.

I started to cry, I was so touched! It took effort to put that all together for me and send it, and it was something I could re-read (and have many times already) before passing it on to my husband as well as our oldest daughter, who can read now. She was delighted!

So, I got paper and pens and we sat down and wrote back a letter as a family with all of us alternating paragraphs. We also included some photos taken on our instant camera. It was so fun to do together. We even invited my cousin and his family to visit us this summer!

I just wanted to share with your readers our experience with this.

— Rediscovering the Letter Connection, Transcona

Dear Rediscovering: There’s still nothing like the personal touch of a heartfelt, handwritten letter. Bravo for embracing the practice and thanks for sharing!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I bore each other now our kids are out of the house and sharing apartments with friends.

We both like to cook, but making dinner for two isn’t much of a challenge, and sometimes we get into stupid arguments over menu-planning. We love each other, but it’s not enough and we know it!

However, we’re not energetic enough after work to make fancy dinners and invite different people over. We’re getting old too quickly at this rate. Help us, please!

— Snoring at Dinner, West End

Dear Snoring at Dinner: Make a calendar for the next month and invite different guests to share dinners with you once a week — at a different little local restaurant each time. This could bring a more exciting shape to your week and wouldn’t involve a ton of planning.

Winnipeg is full of amazing restaurants and the ones you haven’t been to before hold the most adventure. Take some notes while you’re there of great dishes to suggest to friends and family for future visits.

Soon you’ll be getting calls and messages from guests you’ve invited out to come over to their places for dinner, or meet them at different little eateries they know and you don’t. The trick is to visit small local places and keep it relatively inexpensive.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My girlfriend tells me she wants me to move in with her so she can “keep an eye on me.” She winked when she first said it, and I didn’t know how to take it. She’s now said it twice since, in a dead-serious demeanour. Is she still joking?

I’m crazy about her in some ways — she’s fun, intelligent and sexy — but I’m not sure I can stand this possessive side of her. I have my own place for a reason! What do you think?

— Getting Antsy, Osborne Village

Dear Antsy: Sometimes good sex comes at too great a price for a person who is casually interested but not wanting to be “owned.” This woman senses you are not devoted to her, even though you obviously enjoy her company and are sexually attracted.

You two really need to talk about the differences in your feelings — and that she feels the need to keep a watch over you. If that’s how she really feels, it’d be wise to dial things down and just be friends, if that’s at all possible with her.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Maureen Scurfield
Advice columnist

Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.

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