Midnight rambler has him on edge

By: Miss Lonelyhearts Posted: 2:00 AM CST Sunday, Mar. 6, 2016

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a nocturnal ghost and it creeps me out. She wakes up and walks around the house in the dark so she doesn't wake me up. It freaks me out to get up at night and find her walking around, or sitting still in the living room chair staring out the window. If I talk to her, she's wide awake. She says she can't sleep around 3 a.m. and sees no reason to continue to lie there beside me, "feeling the torture" of not being able to sleep. She comes back to bed about 5 a.m., goes into a deep sleep and gets up at 9 a.m. just after I leave.

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Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/03/2016 (3836 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My wife is a nocturnal ghost and it creeps me out. She wakes up and walks around the house in the dark so she doesn’t wake me up. It freaks me out to get up at night and find her walking around, or sitting still in the living room chair staring out the window. If I talk to her, she’s wide awake. She says she can’t sleep around 3 a.m. and sees no reason to continue to lie there beside me, “feeling the torture” of not being able to sleep. She comes back to bed about 5 a.m., goes into a deep sleep and gets up at 9 a.m. just after I leave.

She works part time in the afternoons and goes to bed about 10 p.m. I hate it because it doesn’t feel like the cuddling sleeps and warmth we used to have when we first got married.

— Sad Young Husband, Selkirk

Dear Sad Husband: Sitting and walking around in the dark is strange, especially when she can close the bedroom door. Could she be in a half-sleeping state rather than fully awake until you talk to her? Dive in! Ask her if she’s ever had a history of sleep disturbances, or if it’s just started. Ask what wakes her? Does she wake up when you start snoring heavy and she just isn’t telling you? There could be many reasons she’s getting out of the bedroom. Has she been avoiding sex with you? Is she depressed about something and needs to be alone to think?

Has she been to see a doctor? Insist she see one. She may need to participate in a sleep study.

Maybe she isn’t tired enough to sleep deeply through a normal period of seven or eight hours. Does she always have a nap when she comes home from her afternoon job? Sometimes people just get into split-shift sleeping and their bodies lock into patterns. What time do you go to bed? If she could schedule in a nightly movie with you that would keep her up to 11:30 p.m. she might be able to sleep until morning, but it has to be something fun she’s looking forward to, not a scary movie that keeps a guy entertained and keeps her awake all night. If readers have suggestions that have worked, please write and share them in via the email or snail mail addresses listed at the bottom.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We are very annoyed by smart-aleck crows that come on our deck for birdseed and then peck their heads off on the glass sliding doors, as if to say, “give us more!” They are very bold and loud. My wife brings the cats downstairs, who hiss and puff up their fur, but the crows are smart and don’t care. They know the cats can’t get through the glass. Finally, when they’ve eaten everything and are good and ready, they just take off.

My wife loves to scatter food on the deck to see the birds, but she’s trying to attract other little birds, not big fat crows who can find their own food. What should we do? — Crow Haters, Outside Winnipeg

Dear Crow Haters: You can’t go outside and police the birds who eat on your deck, but you can change the type of food and make things calmer for yourselves by moving the feeding station. The people at The Preferred Perch on St. Mary’s Road are experts in wild bird feed and problems, so phone or drop in.

In the meantime, ask yourself if you aren’t enjoying this drama to a degree? It’s not too hard to move the feeding area away from the deck and into a different part of the yard you can’t see.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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