Being brutally honest is appropriate response

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 21/04/2016 (3796 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Too Polite in Westwood, who’s having trouble dishing out rejection to an old boyfriend online. To just stop corresponding with people or to outright shut them down goes against everything one stands for, but at times it has to be done, otherwise jerks will take advantage of the fact you’re too nice. Lines I’ve used are, “To be honest, I’m really not looking for us to reconnect,” and, “It’s not working for me.” Then definitely block, unfriend and unfollow.

— Been There, Done that, River Heights

Dear Been There: Blocking hurts peoples’ feelings, but if you say goodbye in the ways you have outlined and then block persistent people, it certainly calls a halt to communicating.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is response to Serious Musician whose parents want him to go university after he takes his “gap year.” He wants to play music and will not go into careers they want.

I worked at the MTS Centre when it first opened up and was talking to a lady who co-ordinated hotels for a performer. They hired two 18 year olds as their “grunts.” She said, “I can’t believe what kind of work these guys will do for us, and for cheap.” I replied: “Wait a second, think about this these two men — they are learning about the industry! They’re traveling all over the world learning what they have to do and who they need in their careers to make it on their own. They are getting their education and they get paid to travel. Plus they are doing something they are very passionate about.”

I never asked her if they were musicians, but wouldn’t that be cool if your band did that and then ended up opening up for someone big because you were their “grunts.” It’s all about who you know, and what you know will keep you there. I’ve seen and done a lot to follow my dreams.

On a second note, I finally went back to university at age 29. You’re never too old to learn. You can even take international studies and get credit for it here. You pay Manitoba prices for tuition and major in anything and minor in something else. University can also give you fundamentals in life in a different way than you might think.

I spent $40,000 travelling Africa to volunteer and understand a culture that was foreign to me. I found out later I could have done a school exchange for $3,000 and spent three months working on a project, which is exactly what I did when I was over there. Once I went back to school at 29, I was too old for that program.

So just understand that you can make university work for you as long as you know what you want. You could minor in law and possibly major in music?

— Life is Good, Winnipeg

Dear Life Is Good: Thanks for sharing your experiences, and especially for the hot tip about travel opportunities in some university courses.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Why doesn’t Serious Musician go to school to become a music teacher if this guy is passionate about music? Learn it to teach it, and he can still look good in front of his parents.

— Compromise Position, Winnipeg

Dear Compromise: That would be a heart-breaking compromise. A person who wants the exciting onstage life of being a performing musician is a different animal from a person who wants to teach others.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., MB, Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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