Marking back with hickeys immature

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This article was published 09/05/2016 (3481 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was stepping into the shower when I saw my back in the mirror over the sink. My girlfriend, who is 18 like me, had marked me with hickeys on the back of my neck and on my shoulders. I know what that’s about — ownership — and she did it high enough that I can’t cover it with my shirt, so people have likely seen them. I don’t want to go to the bar like I’ve been branded by her.

I told her I was really turned off by it and now she’s sulking. I don’t even know how I feel about her anymore. I told her I wouldn’t go out with her in public until they were all gone. Was that the right thing to do?

— First Experience With Hickeys, Winnipeg

Dear First Experience With Hickeys: One hickey can be an accident — a flock of them is on purpose. Clearly she was proud of marking you without you even knowing it. What she hoped was that it would look to the world like you were hers. The sneakiness of this is bugging you now as you wonder about her character and how many people saw her marks of ownership.

The bottom line is it was an immature and insecure thing to do, and she’s younger for her age than you are. Either you two can talk about this and she realizes it was a dumb thing to do, and will never do it again, or you let her walk. It depends on how much you care about her, and if she’s willing to grow up a little over this.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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