Fill dad in about his girlfriend’s shameless flirting

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 03/04/2021 (2004 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 26 and I live with my dad, and whatever woman is in his life at the time. I have the basement with a bedroom, bathroom and living area with a computer and TV. The rent is only $250. I have a day job working in a garage. There was no problem until my father brought home this really young woman.

She must like my dad’s blond look and pumped-up body. I look just like him, only 20 years younger.

Lately, after he goes to work, she knocks on the door to the basement, and I answer her phoney questions, but don’t invite her down. This morning Dad had gone off to work and she knocked on the door wearing very little except a short pink thing.

She had no question for me — just stood there, giving me that look. I said, “Leave me the $*#% alone!” and she flounced off. Should I tell my father?

— Worried Son, St. Vital

Dear Worried: Yes, tell your dad ASAP. This young woman is trouble, and your dad needs to ditch her. Be careful of your wording. Consider saying this: “Usually your girlfriends leave me alone, but this one keeps knocking on my door when you’re not here — with phoney questions. This morning she didn’t even have a question, and wasn’t wearing much. I told her to leave me the heck alone.”

Your dad will hopefully dump her, since it’s clear she’s after the younger version, but he might not want to believe it. At least he’s been told. Don’t answer her knocking anymore, unless the house is on fire.

When COVID is under control, you should start sharing a place with a friend or two your own age. Then both you and your dad can have a private social life, without complications.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I took $200 out of the bank in $20 bills, and left it in my purse in the hallway of our house. Before he went to bed, my son stole one of the bills. He thought his stupid mother wouldn’t notice like the last few times. But, my purse was a plant this time. Each bill had a tiny bit of my glitter dust on it.

I waited until he was asleep, went into his room, grabbed his jeans lying on the floor and took the bill from his pocket into the hall light to see if there was glitter. Yup!

He yelled, “What’s going on?” and I said, “I’m taking back the $20 you stole from my purse tonight!” He muttered some swear words. I told him the bills were marked. Then I heard him grumble the F-word, and the fight was on.

This is just one example in a long stretch of bad behaviour that’s escalating. He’s only 14 and doesn’t seem to care about consequences. He’s always fighting with me and his friends.

I try my best to be a good mother, as his dad doesn’t seem to know how to help. We can’t afford therapy. My son is hardly talking to me these days and has frozen me out completely, since I caught him with my money.

— Money is Only Tip of Iceberg, St. Boniface

Dear Tip: Everybody needs money after a certain age, so this son of yours needs work to earn it. He’s too young for a job outside the home, and it’s still dangerous COVID times. But, he could be earning money from you on some big spring projects. Washing the house windows comes to mind.

Outdoor work is good because then you can’t hear the grumbling, and he can play his music loudly. Cleaning and detailing your vehicle is another job, as is planting a garden and flowers around the house.

Pay according to the quality of the work, but pay decently. Tell him ahead of time what the base pay is for completing the job, and offer pay increases for going the extra mile.

Be firm about work standards, but not extra-picky, and use bills to pay him, not change, so you’re treating him like a grown-up.

You might ask him what he needs per week to live these days. You’ll probably be surprised. Then you can tell him what it costs you to pay for the household expenses. He may be shocked as well.

As for becoming friends who actually like each other and talk, see if he’ll play cards with you after dinner some nights while you bake something for a treat.

Once you get into playing with him, he might tell you, in casual conversation, a little about his life and friend problems.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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