July 14, 2020

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Opinion

Nudist parents want to let it all hang out at home

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 19/8/2017 (1060 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband and I have been nudists for 26 years, and raised our son in a nudist home. As dedicated nudists we have always gone completely naked everywhere around our home all the time, except when our son has friends over.

Our son is now 21 and has had a girlfriend for just over six months who is not aware we are nudists. Now she is staying over two-to-three nights a week and we are still having to get dressed for her visits. She is shy.

Also, with our son, we don't want to cause any issues that may result in him moving out before being able to save up enough money to afford a home.

We have talked to some nudist friends of ours who suggested a few things, since broaching the subject with her does not seem to be an option. The most common suggestion was getting accidentally caught naked by her. Be it getting up in the middle of the night to pee and going naked to the bathroom (she sometimes gets up at night to pee, too, so either of us might run into each other), or getting ready for work in the morning by going to and from the bathroom naked, making and eating breakfast naked or by us staying naked when she comes over alone while our son is at work.

When she uses her key we'll pretend not to have heard the door when we run into her. We would be very casual about it when caught naked, and then hope to be able to talk to her about it and give her the option to go naked around the house, too. Our son would probably love being greeted by his naked girlfriend at the door when he got home that first time.

Other suggestions have been to leave a nudist magazine out for her to see, and see if she says anything to us, and if not, then bring it up. Another was to have some nudist magazines in with some other things such as photos, year books, etc. and then she can accidentally come across it when going through the albums, and then we can talk about it.

They all seem like good ideas, but most of our friends favour the accidental nudity since it is what has worked for some of them. We realize we may have let this go on too long (our mistake) but again, we didn't want our lifestyle to be an issue in their developing relationship, which is now very strong.

Could you please offer up your thoughts or any other suggestions? All the best. — M and G, Winnipeg

Dear M and G: Moving out would be an all-round good idea for a man who is now in his 20s. Then everybody gets privacy and freedom and the son gets to grow up. The young woman wouldn't be pressured to accept a nudist lifestyle with her boyfriend's parents, if she wasn't big on it.

You say you don't want your 21-year-old son to move out until he can afford a home — these days, that could mean age 30. That's not healthy for your son's development. Encourage him to fly. And here's the good part for you: once he moves out, you can be nude full-time at home again.

Accidentally running into nude parents anywhere in the house is not a cool idea. The magazines on the coffee table are slightly a better move.

Why not encourage your son to be open and honest about it? He needs to be the one to tell his girlfriend in private that your family usually lives a nudist lifestyle at home, especially now she's staying over several nights a week.

I grew up in the country, but one I summer I was living in the city for theatre school, I had a city boyfriend who took me home (I was 16) when no one was there. I spotted a shadowy picture on the wall and said asked who the naked people in the picture were. He said, "My mom and dad, they're nudists." And, I concluded fairly quickly, so was he. But I wasn't into it, and he didn't push it.

 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Far away, in a country I barely remember, live my grandparents. They don't like to travel anymore. We moved and haven't gone back there as a family for eight years, because my parents say it is expensive to fly all that way for three of us.

My mother, who is Canadian, is afraid I will go there, fall in love, and want to stay and live there, and never come back. She married a dark-eyed man from there and says they're the best-looking men in the world — dangerously handsome.

It's true my father looks like a movie star. She wants me to stay home in Winnipeg where it's safer. That makes me want to go all the more. I am saving my money to go anyway, when I'm 18. I would prefer to go with my mom's permission. How can I get it? — Clueless on This, Manitoba

Dear Clueless on This: Save your money and start working on a family trip idea where your mom is actively encouraged by you to go (and keep her eye on you).

Tell your dad you want the three of you to go, and to help in this project financially. See if you can get a part-time job at a fast-food place where they hire teens.

Once you have enough money for your own ticket and some spending money, start putting away regular savings towards your mother's ticket, too.

Something tells me there's another reason why your mother doesn't want to go on these trips to the old country. Could it be a problem with the grandparents, stemming from luring their son away to another country? Do they not get along or speak the same language?

You need to get at the truth about any hidden issues.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

Each year, the Free Press publishes more than 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her responses to the life and relationship questions that come her way.

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