Patience doesn’t always mean a lack of passion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 26/06/2020 (2267 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I’m 21, and had a proper two-metre distanced date with a sweet guy a few weeks ago in a little park near my parents’ place where I live. It was great, in some ways. We got to see each other and were both better-looking than on the phone. We also got along extremely well — same quirky senses of humour.

The thing is, real date No. 2 needed to move somewhere else, as the park thing wore out real fast. We were so attracted, and wanted to kiss and hug and touch each other! So, we’re mostly back using apps like FaceTime, Skype and Zoom where we can see each other up close, and oddly enough, it feels like less of a tease.

Last night, feeling very frustrated, he asked me to be part of his family’s bubble, or if he could be part of mine. But it’s too early emotionally, and I don’t want to take risks on trusting each other’s family members and their close contacts.

We are attracted physically, yes, but we’re at the point of being a strong couple. I might grow to trust him, but I don’t trust his relatives — I don’t even know them. So now what?

— Frustrated in New Relationship, Winnipeg

Dear Frustrated: While everybody’s waiting to see if there will be a second wave of the coronavirus in our population, we have to continue to be patient and careful. That’s a huge drag when you don’t have a long-term partner — and you’ve met a new possibility for one.

Still, you’re wise to have identified the dangers in this young guy’s large family. Someone could bring the virus home to him and give it to you.

That just leaves you video-chat apps and distanced visits. Or, you could go “old school” and spend whole evenings on the phone. Take your new sweetheart with you outside on the phone, and give him a talking tour of the neighbourhood. Getting dark? Take drinks and treats to a side table on the back lawn, and listen to each other’s voices, talking all about each other’s lives. If one or both of you are musical, you can play or sing for each other.

Toward the end of the phone date, if both of you are hot for each other, you might take the phone to the bedroom for more intimacy. Hot tip: If you want to keep the romantic scene secure, private and relaxed, skip the phone visuals and turn up the music. Have fun! 

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was out shopping when I recognized the long red hair and the green eyes peeping over a purple mask. This was a woman who stole a man I loved from me by telling lies about me — and she got away with it. Funny thing! They got married about two years later — and then divorced not long after. Winnipeg has a pretty good grapevine.

Anyway, I just couldn’t help myself and said to her “Fancy you, dressed like a thief! Isn’t that perfect?” and popped my mask down, and she looked shocked. When I got home I phoned my sister, and we had a big old laugh. She knew I had been devastated after my boyfriend believed that witch when she told him I was cheating with a good-looking friend of his. Then she took him over herself — proof of her guilt.

Sometimes you do get the last laugh.

— Shopping Surprise, South End

Dear Shopping: It’s not surprising you got a laugh out of seeing that, but there’s something you really should consider. What was wrong with that boyfriend of yours that he’d believe the lies of a woman who was chasing after him and trying to get him away from you? She was using one of the oldest tricks in the book.

Does he not seem a little weak between the ears to you now? That’s not saying she did you a favour by stealing your boyfriend, just that he wasn’t as big a prize as you thought he was!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I saw a wolf come out of a bush and into the clearing where I’d pitched my tent. He was all by himself. We looked at each other for a long time, and then he turned and went away. I felt a kinship with him, being on a bicycle trip by myself. I wondered why he showed himself to me. Could it be a message from the universe?

— Lone Adventure Cyclist, Manitoba

Dear Cyclist: Sorry, the intentions of the universe are beyond me. But clearly, wolfie felt no danger from you, so he revealed himself. He may have been watching you from the bush for a time — a lone human with a quiet cycling thing, pitching a tent, walking around by yourself. Maybe he just wanted a closer look.

Had you had dinner yet? Perhaps he was hungry and thought he’d see what was on the menu. Manitoba has 4,000 to 6,000 wolves, but people rarely see them because they don’t like to advertise themselves to predators or their own prey, which can be cattle or moose — much meatier pickings than you had to offer.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography