Sowing seeds of trouble with neighbour’s ex-husband

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 06/06/2022 (1587 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: The young woman who lives next door to me is a lovely person and her ex-husband has been coming over to tend to her garden while she’s at work.

He has found several lame excuses to knock on my door, and he is usually just wearing a black muscle shirt. Last time he asked me if I needed any help putting in my garden, and offered me a really good deal.

Miss L., I don’t think he has a regular job. From my upstairs window I happened to see my neighbour give him money at the end of one day.

I could really do with gardening help, as I have a big yard. Do you think there’s any harm in taking him up on his offer?

— Tempted, Charleswood

Dear Tempted: You already sense there’s something hinky about this guy. So, go over and tell your neighbour her ex has asked you if he could take care of your garden, too. If she says something like “Oh, he did, did he?” and seems annoyed, then he’s probably as much a player as he is a gardener.

She may have been giving him some work out of kindness, but she’s not letting him in the house, you’ll notice. Perhaps his work in her yard is finishing, and she’d like to see him gone soon. Working in your yard would still give him an excuse to be near to her. You don’t need the complications of a gardening “deal” like this.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: We went up to the lake on May long weekend and it was everything I was afraid it was going to be.

Our teenage girls — 17 and 18 — wouldn’t come unless they could bring their boyfriends. So I gave in, and we filled up our small cabin, as well as the tiny trailer outside for the boyfriends to sleep in.

I am no mouse! I said in a no-nonsense voice at dinner time: “The two girls are sleeping in the cabin where I can keep an eye on them!”

The guys got the trailer at the back of the lot, and I promised everybody there would be a “bed check.”

Everything seemed OK at 3 a.m. when I checked with my flashlight, so I went back in the cabin and fell into a deep sleep beside my husband. I had started to trust.

The next night I forgot to do a check until 5 a.m. When I went into the girls’ room, with bunk beds, there were covers pulled way up over the pillows in both beds, but no breathing noises. Suspicious! I yanked back the covers and saw pillows lined up to resemble bodies.

I ran out to the trailer and caught the four of them in the trailer fast asleep — one couple in each bed.

“We didn’t do anything!” the girls screamed, and then ran for the cabin. I sent the boys home to the city.

Now everyone is mad at me. My husband, the traitor, believes the girls that nothing happened; they said they were just cuddling. He says I overreacted. Right-o, but I’m no fool.

Why am I made out to be the monster now? I don’t want my girls to get pregnant and ruin their young lives! Please help. What needs to happen now?

— Upset Mom, North Kildonan

Dear Upset Mom: What your daughters need now is protection against pregnancy — whether they’re having full-on sex yet, or not. They’re already at the “sleeping in the same bed” stage, whether you like it or not.

It’s easy for passionate young couples to think they’re going to stop the action in time, but then they just get carried away. Your daughters need reliable protection now, not just a condom produced (or forgotten) at the height of passion.

They could see their family physician, if that’d be comfortable. If not, they can go to a community clinic such as the Women’s Health Clinic downtown (womenshealthclinic.com or call 204-947-1517). The girls don’t need a parent to accompany them there, so it’s best you stay home.

Once you know your daughters are protected, you may still be worried about their behaviour, but not terrified they will have to deal with a teenage pregnancy.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

   Read full biography