You can change nightmares into sweet dreams

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 16/02/2016 (3840 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

DEAR READERS: What an incredible outpouring of letters about helping control one’s own horrible nightmares and anxiety dreams in response to troubled reader Crazy Curious. Here are some of the best, with many different methods people have developed, and a response from someone who has worked in the medical sleep-study world.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I read the letter from Crazy Curious with much interest. He is actually asking about the possibility of lucid dreaming, controlling the content of dreams as you dream, which is very possible. I have been lucid dreaming since I was eight, as I was suffering with recurring, extremely vivid and horrifying nightmares.

One night I was in the middle of a nightmare and realized exactly where I was. I was being pursued by monsters and decided I was not going to keep being afraid or pursued like that. Instead, I turned towards them, crossed my arms across my body like Barbara Eden in the television show I Dream of Jeannie and blinked my eyes the way she did when she disappeared from an uncomfortable situation. I woke up immediately upon blinking. This one nocturnal decision began a lifetime (I am nearing 50) of moulding and controlling my vivid dream world.

I have also taught my children to choose something meaningful to them in order to control the outcome or remove themselves from frightening dreams. Anyone can do this. Lucid dreaming simply takes conscious thought prior to sleeping, a decision about what one believes will work for them (either to control the dream or wake up from the dream), awareness during dream sleep and practice. — Lucidly Yours, Winnipeg

Dear Lucidly Yours: Thanks for sharing your excellent advice. I also used to have anxious nightmares and real horror scenes. I read up on it and worked on it consciously. I have finally gotten to the point where I can hear my rational self, saying, “This is only a dream. You don’t have to put up with this. Wake up. Maureen!” I do momentarily — and it doesn’t come back when I go back to sleep.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I’m writing to offer some advice to Crazy Curious, who is afraid to go to sleep at night because of bad dreams. Rather than try to control these dreams, he may want to get checked out for an underlying sleep condition. People with sleep apnea often report bad dreams. One explanation is their mind makes up a story (for example, being chased) to go along with the physical symptoms (increased heartbeat, loss of breath) they experience during the breathing pauses. Once properly treated with a CPAP machine (breathing apparatus) or other treatments, the bad dreams often go away. — Former Sleep Technologist, Manitoba

Dear Sleep Technologist: Thanks for taking the time to write in. It is helpful to hear from a sleep technologist, and much appreciated.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: This is for Crazy Curious. Quite a few years ago, I read an article about having bad dreams, and it stated that people usually woke up at the point of falling or being grabbed, due to excess fear. The idea was to review the dream at that time and add your own positive ending.

This method really worked for me. For example, if I were falling from a cliff, my new ending was that I was able to fly, so I wouldn’t land and be hurt. If someone or something was chasing me in a forest, I knew of a special tree I ran to and said a magic word so a secret door opened; I could hide in there. The idea was to keep repeating this method after every bad dream. I haven’t had any bad dreams like those since. — Change the Ending, Winnipeg

Dear Change the Ending: This could work for other imaginative people plagued by nightmares. Your safe hiding tree ending would be great to teach little children.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6