The worst advice my mother gave me

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 13/05/2012 (5213 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Most people associate Mother’s Day with hearts and flowers, sweetness and gratitude for their dear moms. After all, that woman gave them LIFE — as she is wont to remind them whenever they step out of line.

But we know sometimes mothers really blow it when they dole out advice.

So, we thought we’d ask people for the worst advice their mothers ever gave them. While two or three people said their mothers never gave them a single word of bad advice, one fellow said, “Hmm… you’ll have to give me a minute. There’s so much material!”

Here are the uncensored words from some folks who were sunning themselves at The Forks Friday afternoon.

CANDY BADGER, 50: “My mother told me I should wear my hair in a short pixie cut because I have thick hair. I wore it like that until I was in my late 30s! I finally grew my hair out eight years ago because I needed to be able to tie it back for cycling.” Now Badger has a mane of long, blond hair. “I love it! It’s more comfortable and I don’t get helmet head.” She thinks she’ll keep it long “forever” (minus 42 years; thanks Ma).

CARY TARDI, 36: “She told me to take a job in purchasing administration — and I’m highly creative. That job lasted four long years. I was miserable all alone in my cubicle.” Then he smiles a big one. “Now I’m a full-time magician.” That’s a long way from purchasing, Momma!

BEN WALKER, 32: “My mom told me not to marry the first girl I fell in love with,” says the local comedian. “But I fell in love with a girl in Grade 1. That was the one who got away. Hey, I was in Grade 1 at the time, too, I want you to know.

I’m not some old creep!”

LYNN CROTHERS: 63: “My mother’s worst advice? “Here, taste this. Is this milk sour or not? You know what happens to rice and soy sauce after awhile? It all turns white. My mother died at 47. She escaped early, and she never told me anything about menopause! Wahhh!

AL VINCENT, 35: “My mom’s worst advice? Advising me to get married to my first wife. She wanted me to marry her because SHE liked her and got along so well with her. It ended up in divorce after five years.” Did you try again?

“Yeah, I married a second time and it ended in divorce, too. That one was my fault.” Will you get married again? “Hopefully not too soon!”

ADAM FUHR, 18, A BUSKER: “Worst advice? My mom keeps telling me to pet the cat or something BAD will happen to it,” says Fuhr, who just finished first-year university with a view to film and politics. “She’s at me all the time now, trying to train me so they can go on a trip.”

ALICE MEILLEUR, 61: “My mom judged this fellow I dated when I was 15 by his parents. The more advice she gave me, the longer I dated him — 2½ years! She said he’d never make anything of himself, but he became a policeman and a chief of police. He did really well.”

CHRIS LOEWEN, 35: “My mom’s worst advice was to hold off quitting smoking while I was there for Christmas holiday with the family.

I don’t have the greatest patience to begin with and they didn’t want to put up with me. Trouble is, I was coming back to the nurse I wanted to have a future with and I didn’t want her to have to put up with my bearishness. I had to quit cold turkey when I got back! (Yes, his nurse married him!)

TAMMY HARPER, 37: “My mom’s worst advice was never to ask a boy out because he might say no, that it’s a boy’s job to do the asking. Well, I finally asked a boy out and he DID say no, but just not that day. He named another day he could make it. We dated for six years and have been married for 13!”

What’s the worst advice your mother gave you? Share in our comments section below.