Self-centred lover hurt more than his feelings

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This article was published 09/03/2016 (3839 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I hurt my boyfriend having sex in a strange position. I don’t mean I hurt his feelings — I hurt his joystick when I wouldn’t let up after he said to stop. I was so close I made an executive decision in my favour. Finally, he screamed loudly and everything came to a halt. He roared at me to get out of his house. Now he isn’t returning my calls.

I keep calling anyway, hoping he’ll see how sincere I am, but today a mutual friend told me my ex had to go to a doctor about his hurt part. He asked me what exactly we were doing, but I didn’t want to tell him and volunteered to slap his face. He went away, and as he was leaving, said, “No wonder my friend doesn’t want to see you. You’re a total (witch)!” What did he mean by a nasty crack like that?

— L’il Tiger, Fort Rouge

Dear Tiger: You may think you’re a cute little tiger, but let’s call your actions what the are: self-centred, insincere, nasty and violent. What would you do if a man was hurting you during sex and wouldn’t stop? You would probably struggle to get away and maybe call the police. You may have caused a penis fracture. Read up on it. If a man’s engorged penis is bent suddenly or forcefully, you can do great damage. Stay away from this man and stop harassing him by phone. Get yourself to a psychologist and talk about your anger and violence problem.

As for his friend, and what he said to you, he was curious and concerned about his pal, and finally angry on his behalf. Nothing weird about that.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I sure can sympathize with Tired Grandma, but I don’t think a young babysitter is a good idea. They are not 100 per cent reliable and the children will still be at home, so grandma will not get a break. If she has some money and wants to invest in something, put them into a nursery school for a few hours in the afternoon. Grandma can have a nap, prepare dinner and pick them up when they are ready. Everyone gets a break and it will be really good for the girls to socialize with other children.

In the summer, there are churches (you do not have to be of their faith), community centres, the YMCA and pools that have day camps and programs. You can get ideas from the Leisure Guide and Priceless Fun publications the city puts out. The kids can go all day or part of the day, or just a day or two. In the fall, one of the girls will be in school, which will cut the expenses. Ask around, you would be surprised what is out there. If there are young mothers on your street, maybe you could work something out with them, or they could be a good source of what’s available.

— Good Luck From Me, North Kildonan

Dear Good Luck: Thank for your suggestions. Nursery school for two kids might be a lot more expensive than teenagers taking them to the nearest park, or play activities at a community centre after school. But Tired Grandma did say clearly she had some money to throw at this problem. Maybe summer is the time for that kind of organization. The summer kids’ programs are plentiful and fun in Winnipeg, but some still require guardians to come along, depending on how young the kids are. It’s worth checking out the whole kids’ activities scene in Winnipeg as grandma needs a break in the afternoons in order to be a good caregiver the rest of the time.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave. Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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