Husband suddenly wants to travel out of spite

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 15/03/2016 (3534 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband doesn’t like to travel, and I let his “No thanks!” to all my ideas over the years be a veto. He never once said he didn’t want me to travel, I just folded because I was an old-fashioned wife. Then I had a health scare, which was a huge wake-up call. Without his permission, I just planned a hasty trip to the Caribbean with a girlfriend. When he saw the pamphlets, he started whining to come with us, but I said, “No, you’d be the third wheel.”

This afternoon he came home with a gleam in his eye. While I’m away, he’s going to Newfoundland to visit his relatives. I begged him to take me there for years. I swallowed hard and said, “That’s just plain revenge,” and he said, “You’re just leaving me here all alone. What choice do I have?”

I was so angry I wanted to scream: “You refused to go anywhere all these years as a couple. How dare you try to pour cold water on me and take revenge?” I haven’t had the nerve to say it. Should I?”

— Smoking Mad, North Kildonan

Dear Smoking Mad: Say it, for Goodness sake! Send those hot words out of your mind and right into his head. It’s about time you stood up for yourself. Rather than endure more of his sulking and revenge, challenge him. Say something like, “If you find you like travelling, I’ll go on a fun trip with you in the summer.”

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Is it OK to say I’m a feminist? I’m a guy who supports the total equality of women. I have an amazing single mother who raised us kids to love and respect the women in our lives at work, at home, everywhere. So, is feminist a word for men to use or will I be stepping on anybody’s toes by saying it?

— Admirer of Women, Osborne Village

Dear Admirer of Women: The prime minister says it proudly and often, why shouldn’t you? And back it up with actions. Ask your female friends if they need help with a project or protest, but don’t expect to be out front.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
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