Husband such a liar, surprised his pants weren’t on fire

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This article was published 23/03/2016 (3828 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My ex-husband is a compulsive liar. He told me big lies about his past, which made me fall in love with him and admire him. But then I found out it was stuff his buddy had done while going to university in Toronto. He thought he’d never run into that guy again. My husband took over his “victory” stories in charity work, sports, community leadership and family events he said he’d organized.

Last summer, his old friend showed up in Winnipeg on a business trip. My husband made excuses on the phone and didn’t want to see him. The guy was confused, so he came over to the house to surprise him. My husband had quickly taken off to the lake, or so he said. I invited the guy in and we talked, and things started to come out that he had done that were the same stories my husband had told me about himself.

I confronted my husband about his tales and he cried. I stayed with him, but it felt like I was walking on shifting sand. I no longer wanted a baby and disliked touching him — he was a stranger. Once he knew I didn’t trust or respect him, he started seeing a young woman who wouldn’t know what a fake he was.

He and that girl have now left the city. I have no trust for anybody. How do you know when somebody is telling the truth or not, when you are so crazy about them?

— Want My Innocence Back, Winnipeg

Dear Want My Innocence Back: As distasteful as this may seem to you, it’s smart to check out anybody you start going out with. In Winnipeg you can generally find someone who knows someone, who knows some history of your new love interest. I’ve had readers who have phoned a sweetheart’s ex-wife to find out about him before making a decision to marry him. Surprise! In one case, a woman learned her potential husband became violent as soon as he was married and used to tell his ex he “owned” her because they were legally hitched.

Computers reveal a lot, if you bother to check. There are even sites to find out if someone has been to court. The Manitoba website is called Court Registry System at www.jus.gov.mb.ca. On the side there’s a menu, and you click on name search.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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