Sleeping issue no reason to avoid your mom

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This article was published 26/03/2016 (3817 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I brought my boyfriend home with me to the town I grew up in. My mom was friendly to him as usual, but after supper she led him to a guest bedroom that wasn’t mine. I told her one bed would be fine since we were a “married” couple living common law. She snorted and said,”You’re not married in my eyes!”

I said to my boyfriend: “My mother obviously doesn’t respect our living arrangement, so we’re going back to the city.” I threw my stuff in the car and headed back home. When we were half an hour from of Winnipeg, we got a call from my mother. She said she wasn’t sorry since those were her beliefs, but asked us to come back and we could sleep in the same room together. I told her we weren’t turning back. Now there’s real trouble. She hung up on me and we haven’t spoken since. Help!

— The Sinner? Osborne Village

Dear Sinner: There are two paths you can go. 1) Phone your mom for a chat in a week as if nothing happened, and then only make day trips home to see the folks on a Sunday when the weekend is finished. 2) Go back to visit for a weekend, graciously take the bedroom and let your mom get used to it. Just do it without a conversation. A grateful thank you would not be a good idea, as it brings the moral issue up again.

Path No. 2 would be the best route. You have already won this battle. Why not accept the truce your mom is offering? It wouldn’t have been easy for her to pick up the phone and call you, and she may have had a cry after you left. You only heard her anger on the phone, which is easier to express than sadness. And, she loves you!

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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