Where does husband go while she sleeps at night?

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This article was published 27/03/2016 (3816 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband lies in bed all day while I’m at work. I come home from my day shift, cook us both dinner, and then he goes to his part-time evening shift. I have put giant plants in the room with a nanny cam, which is how I know what he does all day. Then at my bedtime, he comes home from his job and he wants to have sex with me. Then I try to go to sleep and he goes out because he says he’s too wide-awake to sleep. He tells me, “My night is just like your evening. I need to see my friends, too.” It’s not quite the same because I’m all alone and he’s out with friends, or maybe one special woman.

I don’t want to lower myself to have him followed, but I want to know if this marriage is going to last and there will be kids and a family, or if I need to get out of this. Is this marriage a bad joke? I guess I’m scared to ask where he goes. I don’t really trust him. I thought loving him was more important that trusting him 100 per cent, but I’m always worried and anxious.

Should I tell him I feel like leaving him when I have no proof that he is being unfaithful? The last time he cheated on me was a year before our marriage when we were already engaged. He swore in front of my parents he would never do that again.

— Marriage is Walking on Eggshells, Fort Garry

Dear is Marriage On Eggshells: Why don’t you ask him where he goes at night? You must be afraid of the answer since he could either throw a big tirade about you not trusting him, or offer up a bunch of denials. At this point, you can either ask him, you can have him followed by a discreet friend or a private investigator, or you can finally decide that you don’t trust the man and bid this starter marriage adieu. Do you really want this kind of man to be the father of your unborn children? This man does not sound like husband or father material.

Perhaps your best bet, before doing anything, would be to go to see a relationship counsellor and work this out in your head.

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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