Trade late-night loving for sexy shower

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This article was published 23/04/2016 (3496 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: Sex is the bane of my existence. My wife hounds me for it every night. I need to sleep early because I work construction and get up early. She comes home from her evening job, wakes me up and demands sex. My mouth says no, but she makes some sneaky moves and my body betrays me. We have raucous sex and I’m over-tired, and can’t get back to sleep for an hour or two after. I am a walking dead man these days. She says, “I don’t see you until the weekend, so when I get home from work, I want what I want.” I don’t know what to say.

— Exhausted Newlywed, West End

Dear Exhausted Newlywed: You don’t mention children, so you might want to arrange times when you would like to have lots of sex. Babies cut into sexy times, big time! Here’s a trick: wake her up when you’re just finished having a morning shower and 30 minutes before you leave for work. Kiss her, tell her how beautiful she is and drop your towel. If she says, “Forget it, I’m sleeping! I don’t want it,” you have something to negotiate with. How about dedicating Saturday afternoons to making love and ordering in dinner, and have another big session sometime on Sunday, then various times during the week, but not always when you are the one who has to wake up. And, invite her to join you in the shower anytime. You know you’ll be wide awake then!

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My mom says she woke up in the middle of the night and had a talk with my dad who died three years ago. He never came to her before. She said she woke up and he was standing at the foot of the bed saying, “Wake up, honey, I need to talk to you.”

She was initially shocked and then OK about it. He didn’t look like a filmy ghost and he even smelled the same — like tobacco. He said he needed her to know he was fine, to stop mourning him and get on with her life and find a new man. He said he wanted her to disperse the inheritance money he gave to her to us for schooling right now and to encourage us to apply to universities and colleges. We would be the first kids in our family to get past high school.

She promised she would, and asked him what it was like where he was. He just smiled and said he was “fine and dandy” — a favourite saying of his. Then he was gone. Should I believe her, or is she seeing things because she wants to see them?

— Oldest Daughter, Winnipeg

Dear Oldest Daughter: Deceased loved ones have appeared to a fair number of people I have heard from through years of writing Miss Lonelyhearts columns. I wouldn’t call them delusional. People have appeared to level-headed people in my own family. I think the thing that confounds us most as humans is we don’t know so much about death and what comes after.

If your mom is convinced your dad told her to release money to you and your siblings for education now, rather than later, then accept that gracefully and don’t make fun of her. If you ridicule people for such confidences, you won’t get any more of them. And just before you go to bed tonight, you might just say, “Thanks, dad. I’ll be respectful of the money, and use it for my education.” You know, just in case he’s still around to see what happens. Well, who knows?

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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