Relationship nothing but fried eggs and worms

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Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend and I were out camping. He was cooking bacon and eggs in a frying pan, and watching me get dressed in the tent after a night of hot fun. I was putting on a little show for him. I am thin and I know it, but still sexy. He hurt me very much when he laughed and referred to my small, flat breasts like the two fried eggs in the pan. I was aghast. Then he tried to cover up, and said, "But I like you, even if you are a little flat, and have stork legs!"

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Opinion

Hey there, time traveller!
This article was published 25/05/2016 (3465 days ago), so information in it may no longer be current.

Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My new boyfriend and I were out camping. He was cooking bacon and eggs in a frying pan, and watching me get dressed in the tent after a night of hot fun. I was putting on a little show for him. I am thin and I know it, but still sexy. He hurt me very much when he laughed and referred to my small, flat breasts like the two fried eggs in the pan. I was aghast. Then he tried to cover up, and said, “But I like you, even if you are a little flat, and have stork legs!”

He should not have said anything, as he’s not well-endowed himself. I said, “I like you — and your little inchworm, too!” His face turned white and red and then white again. He was obviously upset. We drove home in bitter silence. I said, “What’s the matter? Can’t you take a joke?” He said not about that. I asked: “How do you think I felt about what you said?” He gave up talking after that. What could I say?

He hasn’t called since and I wonder if I should call him up and apologize, but maybe that will just make it worse. He knows he’s small and so do I. Otherwise, he’s an OK guy.

— Two Fried Eggs, River Heights

 

Dear Two Fried Eggs: New relationships are like some electrical equipment: they can short out very quickly. That exchange of insults should never have happened in a lifetime, and now they’re out there between you. You don’t have much in the bank to cushion these insults with at this early point. A short flirtation and a night of bouncing in the tent may be all this relationship is destined for.

How do you apologize for words that cripple spontaneity between a new couple? How do you say you’re sorry for making your sex partner embarrassed to be undressed around you? Repairs are not easy. It’s best to just let it go.

 

Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6

 

 

Miss Lonelyhearts

Miss Lonelyhearts
Advice Columnist

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